Douglas here:
Angela went through surgery yesterday. Doc is very happy with condition of bone. When they opened her up several fragments of bone fell out. They did not have to replace the whole head. The damaged area was removed from the center and the knob was resurfaced to accommodate a metal cap. It was attached via a pin (shorter than expected) driven into the center of the bone. Doc said otherwise bone was in great shape. She'll get another 10 years out of her shoulder.
Pain level was extraordinarily high, typical of shoulder replacement. She had a catheter ran into her neck into the should area into a bundle of nerves. That was enough in of itself. It did the trick.
Last night was a different story. Pain took over, heart rate went crazy, had everyone on edge considering her heart issues. Finally got everything under control this a.m.
May be able to go home tomorrow with nursing care in house.
She is groggy, still smiling and asking everyone who comes into the room what their name is and how they are doing...
Just gave her a suppository...gotta run...
more later. thanks for checking in.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Pre-Surgery Stuff
Well tonight is the night before I receive a brand spanking new shoulder with all the sparkle of titanium. I hope to sport a fashion conscious shoulder holder and after three weeks be ripping up weeds,lovingly of course, and frying up the turkey bacon and fiishing my long awaited book !!!. All my labs look the best in a year !!! Chemo seems to be working. The other issues are just side effects and long term effects of chronic illness so that will work out. I am in a good mood and spirits high. I raided the library and blockbuster or entertainment and if course Doogie will be the highlight of my entertainment as always. Deb's Matzo soup is much anticipated !!! Mike(dad) does pretty good job of entertainment without realixing it too. Snoring for the nurses is always a hit, with the paper flipping with each breathe on his face or chest. "The man can sleep through a volcano". Nina, Mary, friends etc are all helpful.....Kitty has been great and Renee's hands and Lisa's energy has healed while Grandma Gross offers maternal love and care. All family extended is amazing. Your emails and cards have lifted me to new heights.
So with this I send you all my love and blessings for a fabulous week or so and shall be slowly be in touch. Check the blog and do write. Until we meet agaian...............
Love
A
So with this I send you all my love and blessings for a fabulous week or so and shall be slowly be in touch. Check the blog and do write. Until we meet agaian...............
Love
A
Monday, June 25, 2007
Three Days Countdown to Surgery
Hi !!!
Happy sunny day here in Michigan. My sweet husband is home for a @ 3 weeks and I am really looking forward to this long stay. It has been challenging for us both with him on the road. It seems there is so much to do when he is home that we hardly take time to enjoy the summer together. This time we did and had a fabulous weekend. Now he is at the hospital doing his volunteer work with the children's ward as they decorate their new IV stands on which Doug put fun wheels that light up when they roll , and he will be working on the computer and in office all week while I prepare for the shoulder surgery. He loves the yard and garden !!!
The right shoulder replacement is a resurfacing technique and plug which will replace the dead bone. It will not last forever and is being placed knowing that there will be an eventual(elder years) total replacement once we preserve the healthy bone, clean it up and hopefully regrow healthy new bone, which happens daily for humans and is constantly building and wearing away as long as there is blood flow, proper calcium absorption and the Oesteoblast-clast proccess is happening as it should. That is why it is important to get right amounts of Vit. D, Cal and Mag on a daily basis along with bone strengthening exercise. Walking and light weight training is the best !!! I am nervous and yet anxious to get it over and get on with an active late summer-fall. So say your prayers and hold good thoughts as always that the surgery will be safe and easy with short recovery time. Then I focus on the knees !!! Did you know Cartilage supposedly stops growing at age 15? Glucosumine and Chondroiton may help repair cartilage but does not grow new.
A few people I want to mention.... My cousin Sally for her courageous battle with cancer. She has survived three or four episodes and now is in a precarious place so please send her your thoughts as well.
I also want to say I had a great visit with my eldest brother, who is actually my uncle by blood and is a long story. Nothing weird just unusual. He stayed with me for five days and will be back in England where he lives with his family. I was blessed to have the time with him for the first time in our lives. I got to know him on a deeper level and it was very important to us both. One never knows when the end is near and regrets of not connecting to loved ones plague the soul. I can honestly say I really have spent much of the past two years getting to know family and friends on a more intimate level. That is one gift lupus has given me. I am able to take the time to smell the roses, contemplate, meditate, ponder and spend time with loved ones. It is a gift we should each allow ourselves to enjoy before it is too late. Do the things you have on your list as if it were your last year. Do not wait for retirement or the lottery !!!
Garden is overflowing again this year. Someone come pick greens before they die out !!! Just pull up to garden and pick. Lake is still up and clean for swimming and I will be taking advantage of it this week with 90's today and Tuesday....
Make it a great day !!! Angela
Happy sunny day here in Michigan. My sweet husband is home for a @ 3 weeks and I am really looking forward to this long stay. It has been challenging for us both with him on the road. It seems there is so much to do when he is home that we hardly take time to enjoy the summer together. This time we did and had a fabulous weekend. Now he is at the hospital doing his volunteer work with the children's ward as they decorate their new IV stands on which Doug put fun wheels that light up when they roll , and he will be working on the computer and in office all week while I prepare for the shoulder surgery. He loves the yard and garden !!!
The right shoulder replacement is a resurfacing technique and plug which will replace the dead bone. It will not last forever and is being placed knowing that there will be an eventual(elder years) total replacement once we preserve the healthy bone, clean it up and hopefully regrow healthy new bone, which happens daily for humans and is constantly building and wearing away as long as there is blood flow, proper calcium absorption and the Oesteoblast-clast proccess is happening as it should. That is why it is important to get right amounts of Vit. D, Cal and Mag on a daily basis along with bone strengthening exercise. Walking and light weight training is the best !!! I am nervous and yet anxious to get it over and get on with an active late summer-fall. So say your prayers and hold good thoughts as always that the surgery will be safe and easy with short recovery time. Then I focus on the knees !!! Did you know Cartilage supposedly stops growing at age 15? Glucosumine and Chondroiton may help repair cartilage but does not grow new.
A few people I want to mention.... My cousin Sally for her courageous battle with cancer. She has survived three or four episodes and now is in a precarious place so please send her your thoughts as well.
I also want to say I had a great visit with my eldest brother, who is actually my uncle by blood and is a long story. Nothing weird just unusual. He stayed with me for five days and will be back in England where he lives with his family. I was blessed to have the time with him for the first time in our lives. I got to know him on a deeper level and it was very important to us both. One never knows when the end is near and regrets of not connecting to loved ones plague the soul. I can honestly say I really have spent much of the past two years getting to know family and friends on a more intimate level. That is one gift lupus has given me. I am able to take the time to smell the roses, contemplate, meditate, ponder and spend time with loved ones. It is a gift we should each allow ourselves to enjoy before it is too late. Do the things you have on your list as if it were your last year. Do not wait for retirement or the lottery !!!
Garden is overflowing again this year. Someone come pick greens before they die out !!! Just pull up to garden and pick. Lake is still up and clean for swimming and I will be taking advantage of it this week with 90's today and Tuesday....
Make it a great day !!! Angela
Monday, June 11, 2007
Lovely Michigan Summer Day
I do realize it is officially still spring until June 21st yet it is summer up here. I spent the weekend at the lake with my folks enjoying the shade spot on the porch with my reading materials, journal, computer and lots of great food and wine of course. It was wonderful to go for pontoon rides and swim in the cool waters. My body loves being in the water where there is no weight bearing on joints or bones. It is wolmb-like and effortless on a floatie. Yes I had on a hat, sunglasses, sunscreen shirt and lots of sunscreen. The pooches swam with me and protected me from the turtle I earlier observed......EEEK. Snap !!
Our garden is bursting. Everything is blooming or passing old buds. The peonies were stunning this year. I have had a continuous bouquet and sharing flowers and food with whomever is willing. I had hopes of getting a small stall at the farmers market with an umbrella and table but not enough energy to pull that off and my muscle man is on project. Next year though !!! We have several farmers markets on Wed, fri., and Saturday and one trunk sale. It's called Trunkapalooza. Like a tailgate flea market.
Students are gone for the summer, all 50,000 of them so it is quiet and road construction takes over the unused roads for summer fix ups. I do not get in the car unless I have to.
Health wise I still am dealing with pain in high numbers, irregular BP, weakness, shakiness and fatigue-malaise yet trying to stay rested and strengthen muscles at same time. I have enjoyed thoroughly my new friend (privacy rights-no name). She is an MD and researcher, partially retired. I love her energy and spunk. She has lupus and has been through the ringer more so than I and yet she is of great support. I have learned much and we continue to find common interests. Especially horses !!! and I have someone to workout with at the wellness center who can direct me in the proper way to exercise with my issues. Her specialty was Orthopedic Surgery. I find her so interesting as a person I may end up writing my memoir with hers as well..."the story of two miracles" or "two stories of survival and hope"? Have not mentioned it to her yet only made inferences and she seems she may be open to it. Her humor and interesting take on life is fascinating and funny. I had been calling out in my meditations and prayers for this type of relationship and friendship. I am blessed.
My grandma is getting stronger after heart attach. I spoke to my uncle Myron and he also has much the same joint-bone pain and I send him healing thoughts as I do my cousin Sally. Hold them in yours if you will.
The Asheville project seems to be coming along and I am so proud of my sweet and handsome husband. He is really growing in so many ways and his design and artistic mind is working on our own web projects as well with the help of other partners and talented minds. We want to share it with you when the time is right. Hospital projects will be in full swing this winter after the NC job is complete. Doug git a grant for a sculptural piece to sit in the main waiting room near the entrance to the hospital. It is interactive as well and really neat collaboration. We also have two other hospital oriented projects in the holding pattern for now and lupusadvocacy. Our annual walk for Friends of Amster Fund "Butterfly Walk" is coming up August 19th, Saturday 8 am, with a pancake ans sausage breakfast and a talk from Dr. McCune about the advances in research for causes and cures, and of course, better treatments. Fun for the family, lots of shaded areas to rest all in a park setting outside Detroit. I have sent everyone I know information. If you have not received info in a week let me know.
I sure missed my trip to NC but it is good I stayed. I would not have had energy to socialize and it may have made things worse. Staying home and resting is the only way to heal for now.
Blessings,
Angela
Our garden is bursting. Everything is blooming or passing old buds. The peonies were stunning this year. I have had a continuous bouquet and sharing flowers and food with whomever is willing. I had hopes of getting a small stall at the farmers market with an umbrella and table but not enough energy to pull that off and my muscle man is on project. Next year though !!! We have several farmers markets on Wed, fri., and Saturday and one trunk sale. It's called Trunkapalooza. Like a tailgate flea market.
Students are gone for the summer, all 50,000 of them so it is quiet and road construction takes over the unused roads for summer fix ups. I do not get in the car unless I have to.
Health wise I still am dealing with pain in high numbers, irregular BP, weakness, shakiness and fatigue-malaise yet trying to stay rested and strengthen muscles at same time. I have enjoyed thoroughly my new friend (privacy rights-no name). She is an MD and researcher, partially retired. I love her energy and spunk. She has lupus and has been through the ringer more so than I and yet she is of great support. I have learned much and we continue to find common interests. Especially horses !!! and I have someone to workout with at the wellness center who can direct me in the proper way to exercise with my issues. Her specialty was Orthopedic Surgery. I find her so interesting as a person I may end up writing my memoir with hers as well..."the story of two miracles" or "two stories of survival and hope"? Have not mentioned it to her yet only made inferences and she seems she may be open to it. Her humor and interesting take on life is fascinating and funny. I had been calling out in my meditations and prayers for this type of relationship and friendship. I am blessed.
My grandma is getting stronger after heart attach. I spoke to my uncle Myron and he also has much the same joint-bone pain and I send him healing thoughts as I do my cousin Sally. Hold them in yours if you will.
The Asheville project seems to be coming along and I am so proud of my sweet and handsome husband. He is really growing in so many ways and his design and artistic mind is working on our own web projects as well with the help of other partners and talented minds. We want to share it with you when the time is right. Hospital projects will be in full swing this winter after the NC job is complete. Doug git a grant for a sculptural piece to sit in the main waiting room near the entrance to the hospital. It is interactive as well and really neat collaboration. We also have two other hospital oriented projects in the holding pattern for now and lupusadvocacy. Our annual walk for Friends of Amster Fund "Butterfly Walk" is coming up August 19th, Saturday 8 am, with a pancake ans sausage breakfast and a talk from Dr. McCune about the advances in research for causes and cures, and of course, better treatments. Fun for the family, lots of shaded areas to rest all in a park setting outside Detroit. I have sent everyone I know information. If you have not received info in a week let me know.
I sure missed my trip to NC but it is good I stayed. I would not have had energy to socialize and it may have made things worse. Staying home and resting is the only way to heal for now.
Blessings,
Angela
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Balancing Act
Well what can I say....? Some days are good and others, well, are not quite as great. The last few days I have been feeling punky and painful. I guess this old body deserves a respite. So I shall concede and rest. It seems I itch too much for most medicinal pain control ( bone and joint pain, toes, arthralgia) When one endures a certain steady level of pain over a period of time the body's sensory receptors are over sensitized and can cause a phenomena similar to deferred pain. At the same time Fibromyalgia can set in the muscles due to tension etc. This in return can cause blood pressure to rise, anxiety, stress, sleeplessness, lack of appetite and string of run off issues which is normal for a body in need of some relief. I experienced this lately and will be staying home and resting as directed by Dr.'s and my own common sense. "Ask, believe and receive". I cancelled a very important trip knowing it would disappoint others and cause concern for Douglas......but one does what one needs to do.
I realized I have been very analytical and sensible for the past year with what exactly I am dealing in relation to the bones and the long term affects of lupus and medications, especially steroids. The future reality is surgeries up the yin yang and lots of PT. The steroids are the devils maker with angels wings. I have been flying on the wings of denial for the future which could lie ahead and placing my head and heart in hope and wishful thinking of sorts. I know one thing for sure is that one must first accept and love themselves right where they are before a healing can occur. I have been fighting the acceptance and not liking my body or the drugs that kept it alive for their betrayals. Why does this body reject itself? Why is it the only drugs that help cause even more damage? Who the hell knows. All I know is I am coming to terms with a devastating and yet miraculous situation which forces me to care and love these old bones and the frame which holds it all together even more than before. I am becoming gentle with myself in ways that may seem indulgent or selfish. I am OK with that. I am becoming OK with not being a super woman. I have learned, reluctantly kicking and screaming, to ask for help when needed and to accept when "no" might be the answer. Perhaps I was afraid to ask because in the way in the past I was disappointed, abandoned and forced to learn how to rely on and take care of myself from a very very young age. Not since I met Douglas have I been completely able to accept the tender care which he so graciously gives. I have a supportive family and friends who are just waiting for me to ask. And so now with Douglas working on a project I am forced to ask for help once again from family and friends, fellow patients and even neighbors. Hard for a caregiver as myself. I have also been inspired by many other woman who share this disease, some worse off and some better, yet they all offer seeds of wisdom.
I tell you all this because the martyr syndrome will harm you. All negative emotions manifest in physical form. I am not saying disease is always self inflicted, but I am saying that the chances of having a whole and healthy life depends greatly on the perspective of healthy mind and spirit of the individual. This responsibility is huge. I accept it and embrace it with open arms as this is my greatest lesson. Lupus has taught this to me in the wildest of ways........what a ride !!! I have been meditating, visualizing, replacing drugs with natural therapies, yoga, praying, exercising, positive thinking, eating great and doing all the good things one can do for over 20 years now but missed this one link....."asking !!! receiving !!!" and so I leave you with this insight for all of us on a path of self discovery, enlightenment and human growth......Do not be afraid to give and receive equally. Be gentle with yourself and others. Always love first. Eliminate judgment and anger. Face fear and let it go. Look in the mirror every day and say "I love you just as you are". Feel blessed for every breath and always share your kindness unconditionally. Let everyone you love know it daily. Accept, feel and know all is well and perspective is everything. Most important of all....Forgive yourself if you feel your body has betrayed you. Forgiveness leads to love and leads to healing, seen and unseen. Here lies miracles. This is divine !!!!
"To forgive is divine"
On a good note.....our garden is feeding the masses and full of vibrant life, we have had rain for days, the water level is back up and summer is in full swing in the great north. Oh....and we are alive !!!
Lovingly
Angela
I realized I have been very analytical and sensible for the past year with what exactly I am dealing in relation to the bones and the long term affects of lupus and medications, especially steroids. The future reality is surgeries up the yin yang and lots of PT. The steroids are the devils maker with angels wings. I have been flying on the wings of denial for the future which could lie ahead and placing my head and heart in hope and wishful thinking of sorts. I know one thing for sure is that one must first accept and love themselves right where they are before a healing can occur. I have been fighting the acceptance and not liking my body or the drugs that kept it alive for their betrayals. Why does this body reject itself? Why is it the only drugs that help cause even more damage? Who the hell knows. All I know is I am coming to terms with a devastating and yet miraculous situation which forces me to care and love these old bones and the frame which holds it all together even more than before. I am becoming gentle with myself in ways that may seem indulgent or selfish. I am OK with that. I am becoming OK with not being a super woman. I have learned, reluctantly kicking and screaming, to ask for help when needed and to accept when "no" might be the answer. Perhaps I was afraid to ask because in the way in the past I was disappointed, abandoned and forced to learn how to rely on and take care of myself from a very very young age. Not since I met Douglas have I been completely able to accept the tender care which he so graciously gives. I have a supportive family and friends who are just waiting for me to ask. And so now with Douglas working on a project I am forced to ask for help once again from family and friends, fellow patients and even neighbors. Hard for a caregiver as myself. I have also been inspired by many other woman who share this disease, some worse off and some better, yet they all offer seeds of wisdom.
I tell you all this because the martyr syndrome will harm you. All negative emotions manifest in physical form. I am not saying disease is always self inflicted, but I am saying that the chances of having a whole and healthy life depends greatly on the perspective of healthy mind and spirit of the individual. This responsibility is huge. I accept it and embrace it with open arms as this is my greatest lesson. Lupus has taught this to me in the wildest of ways........what a ride !!! I have been meditating, visualizing, replacing drugs with natural therapies, yoga, praying, exercising, positive thinking, eating great and doing all the good things one can do for over 20 years now but missed this one link....."asking !!! receiving !!!" and so I leave you with this insight for all of us on a path of self discovery, enlightenment and human growth......Do not be afraid to give and receive equally. Be gentle with yourself and others. Always love first. Eliminate judgment and anger. Face fear and let it go. Look in the mirror every day and say "I love you just as you are". Feel blessed for every breath and always share your kindness unconditionally. Let everyone you love know it daily. Accept, feel and know all is well and perspective is everything. Most important of all....Forgive yourself if you feel your body has betrayed you. Forgiveness leads to love and leads to healing, seen and unseen. Here lies miracles. This is divine !!!!
"To forgive is divine"
On a good note.....our garden is feeding the masses and full of vibrant life, we have had rain for days, the water level is back up and summer is in full swing in the great north. Oh....and we are alive !!!
Lovingly
Angela
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