"Super profundo on the eve of your new year"

This is my version of a quote from one of my favorite Indy movies called "The waking life". This movie spoke to a time in my own life when I was obsessed with contemplation, prayer and meditation. The movie was a meditation on contemplative thought in a big way. Douglas and I watched it several times, mostly while I was in the hospital and the lap top movies were my only form of entertainment beyond friends, family and the occasional hospital escapades, which never cease to create a laugh or two. The quote was about how profound can be our "New day" or "New year", as it is, and how we can separate ourselves from our own "pain" or realities and surf the waves of existential philosophy and "ponderings" of ancient wisdom crossed with pop culture. Yeah it is mouth full. It is a way of telling ourselves to accept the unknown future with a sense of profound understanding and insight. This year especially is one in which to look back with a sense of contemplation, while at the same time looking forward with the wisdom we gained from our mistakes or misgivings.

I would like to think of this new year's eve as the beginning of a whole new way of thinking and acting in a society gone crazy. I do not use that word lightly by the way. I turn on the TV or internet and feel disturbed by the craziness I see before me. It is a whole weird life indeed, waking or dreaming. Even listening to my NPR jazz station can bring in sounds of mental illness from all over the globe right into my own living room. It is one filled with hunger, poverty, pain, war, greed, jealousy, corruption, lawlessness, suffering, unnecessary disease, childhood ills, aging sickness, bombings, global warming or cooling, bad vibes, racism, sexism, narcissism, oppression, religious wars, philosophical challenges, moral corruption, nudity, inflation, recession, profanity, political infighting and a whole bag of negative crap. What I need is to see a new year filled with hope and inspiration. I need to feel the sense of sisterly-brotherly love, peace, goodwill towards all, uplifting spirit, prosperity of the soul and all the goodness we know to be contained within the human soul. It is always amazing to me how we each find a way to drift into celebration on the new year instead of drifting inward to our own contemplation of humankind and kindness. hey...........I am all about" The Party" but it shall be tempered with peace, love and kindness. We can all use a little of this right? Is it not what the great masters and prophets teach? Jesus was not kidding about this !!! Compassion and loving thy neighbor goes hand in hand with turning the other cheek. Have we become so myopic we forgot the original lessons? Did Buddha not see the pain in order to over come and change suffering to gratitude? Yes I believe in this. I do know when I forgive and feel kindness in sight of ugliness I feel a better person for the action. It is with this spirit I move forward while gazing back. I offer up a plateful and champagne glass semi full of peace and goodwill towards all human kind-animal kind and planet.

Happy new year !!!!

"Good Job Hubband"

Well my husband did surely surprise me for my 42nd birthday. It was actually for both our birthday and Christmas presents to each other but he arranged it and kept it a secret which was great !! We started out stopping off at a lovely midtown Detroit Historic Inn on Ferry Street, which in the day was the tops, where we could see all the major museums and Center for Creative Design. We then headed over to the Detroit Institute of Art for the Monet to Dali exhibit plus most of permanent exhibitions. Wonderful to see it after they added the renovation. I had not been in years and he wheeled me around in a chair or I wheeled myself. It was wonderful. We ate lunch in their cafeteria and had a glass of wine before retiring to our room for a short nap and classical music. Very cozy. The driver took us to MGM Grand where we spent the night gambling and people watching, had dinner and were picked up before we turned into pumpkins. They served us breakfast the next morning, which was really good, then we toured around a bit and had one final spin at roulette. What fun !!! Detroit might make it after all. If the weather was nicer we would have stayed for the Eastern Market and Greek Town, but the snow was melting, raining, windy and foggy so we headed home in afternoon and it was 58 degrees. Amazing. last night we were kept awake by power outages, high winds and lots of noise. Dad and Mary still do not have power.

I am pooped from the holidays !! Today is rest day and maybe tomorrow as well. Busy week ahead and it is a perfect rainy day to sleep and read.

Happy New Year to You All!!

"The snow it keeps "a comin"

The snow is not coming down at an inch an hour but it is coming down pretty darn fast. We love it. I just spoke to my grandma in Detroit to tell her we would not be driving to visit until after the storm because there are too many wrecks and she made a comment about how horrible the weather was and I said "Oh but it is so beautiful." Her reply.."I am over it". I guess after 86 years I would be too. I cleared off our cement Buddha and put a wreath at his belly, which is covered by snow. The birds like to sit on his head and poop. Have to keep him clean and in the Christmas spirit and the birdies happy. There are two red headed wood peckers now which are lovely !

I visited with a few girlfriends last night and had a wonderful time. It is so sweet to have small get togethers with gals pals and enjoy a few laughs,good food and conversation. I feel the holiday spirit more so now. I was feeling like a bad cold was moving into my head but I think it is just the wood stove and dryness. It has been cranking out the heat. Our humidifier tank needs replacing and they do not make the part anymore so we just put a pot of water on the wood stove and let it boil. Poor Doogie has to sit right by it because it is in his office. I go down there and sweat my butt off and come into my office-studio and freeze. Oiu!

I still do not know what Doug's surprise birthday "get away" is and I am shocked I have not figured it out yet. The big give away will be when he goes to pack for me. It is only a night or two away so it can not be too far from home. I hope we are able to drive. If not we will be snug at home. Either way is fine by me. dad is making Christmas dinner and he can pick us up in the big truck if it's too icy.

The hospital is having a pre-walk fund raising and Lupus Program meeting January 5th for our committee to start off the new year on the right foot. It will be nice to get a head start for the walk this year. I will be here and will be able to do more too. I was very bad about getting out all my invitations due to our being in Asheville until two weeks before the walk. It was still great. The research is exciting and I should have an update after January 5th when we meet. I hope it involves better treatment options and that we are getting closer to a cure. I am still so pissed that steroids are the main option considering all the bone loss I and others have experienced and continue to experience. At least I am able so far to move about. I know others who can not. We are trying to plan a spring event too in Ann Arbor. With funds tight we have to do smaller events and more regular to keep it affordable and in the news. Many businesses are doing more to help charities now too. One local shoe store has a girl's night out party. You can invite your friends-family to the store where they provide bubbly and appetizers donated by local restaurants and a percentage a shoe sales go to the charity while raising awareness and having fun. It helps us support local business too ! Another restaurant has Thursday Night Chef Wine Tastings and donates $5.00 a head to your charity. Both are no brainer events to plan. Consider doing something for your favorite charity in your town.

Well I have rambled enough today. No new news just a short chat before the big day. If I do not speak to you directly please know we send our love and blessings for a very happy holiday and new year. may peace, prosperity and good health fill your home and heart....and don't forget those who have less..

The Big 10 Snow

It is so lovely here today. We woke up to sun after days of clouds and flurries plus a snow storm yesterday which was long and deep. I think we have about 10 inches total from last weeks snow and yesterdays. Not sure? It looks very deep. Last night around 9 pm the snow plows came by and cleared the drive with enough room now to park a few school buses, but hey, at least I can drive to the store for.........well what else? wine. It is a snowed-in/fire place kind of weekend. Tonight a second blast of a couple more inches will really tuck us in nicely. We missed a Christmas party last night and may miss one tonight in Detroit. I really do not want to miss it but the drive home could be strange and dangerous. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to my friend Gary's to smoke two ducks and a chicken. It should be fun. They are soaking in brine.

My grandfather is doing great after his first week post knee replacement. He is actually able to come home for the day from the rehab. I am so glad he is doing extremely well. This is hopeful. My other grandfather is doing better too after months of thinking he was leaving us. He still sleeps all day and does not eat much but my grandmother is happy she has her man.

I am feeling a little nervous about surgery and trying to decide if I have made the right decision. I am supposed to have left hip revised in February but I wonder if I should do my knees first??? I can decide for myself but I feel I need guidance. Unfortunately I have to decide for myself. Dr's can not offer their opinion in this case only offer the facts and let me make the decision. Then sometimes I wonder if I should just not do anything yet since Douglas will be in NC post surgery and i will have to depend on others. If you know me well you will know I do not do the dependent thing very well. I can see me walking up and down the stairs on crutches with a backpack of laundry. Or shoveling the last snow of the season from my wheelchair. I guess part of me wants all joint-bone replacements to be over and the other part of me wants to bury my head in a pillow of denial and hold off until I am forced. It should be an easy decision, but doing it alone makes it tough. Asking for help worse. I never said I was good in that area only better than I used to be. The decision will be made by February 2nd.

Well back to listening to "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" on NPR. If you never listen to it try it a couple times. It is great for humor and news information of the week.11:00 am Saturday mornings.

Tiz the season for giving to those who need it most

http://www.strength.org/

You can go to Share Our Strength web site and donate $35.00 to feed one child 3 meals a day for a month. Or donate more to feed more or volunteer. Organize a dining-out event or bake sale. Every little bit helps.

Another one of my favorite organizations is the Hiefer Foundation My family has been donating chickens and other livestock to this wonderful organization instead of giving each other gifts. Not only do they give the animals they also teach the families, especially women, how to make money from say goats milk or eggs. Then the receiving family must donate or gift some of their animals to a needy neighbor or family member and teach them. The animals feed the families and help them earn an income in impoverished areas.

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for life".

What is a life well lived?

What is a life well lived? This question has plagued me for my entire life. I wonder what whomever first ppondered this question actually meant and what was their answer. I also consider all the people in the world who have a unique view with which to answer this timeless question. You read people's epitaph and it says "They led a life well lived" or you see a movie titled " A life well lived". But what exactly is the measurement for this? It is subjective, of course, but there must be some tools with which to measure whether or not someone had a life which was wasted or one which seemed to be a total success? I ponder this only in the sense I do not want to let time pass with no sense of accomplishment. I certainly do not mean that by a measurement of regular ways and means. I want to say I feel successful in a well lived life if I made someone happy, touched people or inspired them in some way, acknowledged those who inspired and taught me, spent my time somewhat useful, helped my fellow human kind, was good to animals and the planet, lived a life with little foot prints, helped make aware certain issues which needed to be made light filled, "helped many someones in need and accepted help when I was in need, educated myself well, experimented with everything and did everything I wanted to do which caused no harm, traveled as much as possible to learn other cultures and ways, saw beauty in all of life, expressed my feelings in positive ways to those whom I love, loved and cared for my self and this body which is such an amazing gift, spent time with those I love and even strangers and tried to be the best possible person I could be in light of all challenges, speak the truth no matter how hard it may be while knowing when to stay silent, taken time to stop and watch the sunset-moon rise-plant blossom etc., read well, listened well, shared, expanded my sense of comfort, took chances and dared to be myself. There is so much more. The most important of all is that I know for sure I have had a life filled with joy and have spent my life offering compassion and joy. How great and wondrous is that? While many of my cohorts were trying to gain professional success, riches, rewards, fame and fortune I passed it up for experience and other seemingly less important tasks. I guess I never saw the joy in driving an expensive car, wear a fur coat or have my name flashed on the pages of Who's Who". Not that I would turn away from the idea but it was not a marker for me to which to move toward.

Some say it is a blessing and a gift to have a chronic-life threatening illness. I agree !! It really forces one to examine a life which in the past was less examined. It saved my life to be quite frank. I was not moving in a direction I would consider to be successful or fulfilling in the ways which are of importance now. What a process though. This to be continued !!!!!

What a week...photo taken only a month ago

This week carried with it many landmarks and other activities. First off my Sister turned 50 years young. She went kicking and screaming into a new era but her wonderful husband managed to pull off a seamless surprise party. She was completely shocked that he and 75 others were able to keep this a top secret event. When she opened her front door Saturday, after hearing a knock and expecting some immediate family members, she was greeted by 73 friends and family from near and far standing in her yard-drive like the Verizon network. People flew, drove and walked from all over who represented many periods in her life from early child hood to college to present times. I only wish Douglas and I had been there to see her face. The biggest surprise of all was when our eldest brother showed up from England and no one knew. How cool is that?

Second event was that my grandfather, who I also call dad, got his knee replaced on Thursday. He is doing fabulously and is very happy to have this done. He is such an inspiration in so many ways, but especially his youthfulness in his 80's and his rock solid mental capacity. Good genes for sure.

My father turned 61 years old on Wednesday and we planned a dinner at our house which he was unfortunately unable to make. The dinner was an amazing foodie event of gastronomical proportions, which went on for hours. We ate freshly plucked smoked pheasant and duck, fish pate',homemade Hartak (Finnish crackers),fresh baked bread,beef tips with horseradish sauce, lamb-pork-spinach lasagna, Caesar Salad, a beautiful fish-veggie-olive-salami antipasto platter and a triple layer chocolate cream filled cake with sour cream frosting. I am still stuffed and gained at least a pound. It was fun to spend time with my dads old pals who are more like family.

Also, Douglas' sister Paula had a birthday in Tennessee. Happy birthday to her !!!

Doug went to Texas for a project meeting on which he will be working through may in Asheville. The owner and architect live in Dallas. This project will be another fun and creative one. I will let you know more later. We are happy for the work!!! He does not leave for NC until late February after my hip replacement revision.

Yes yet another one. This makes 3 on left side. The socket is loose and causing pain and mechanical issues. I will be thrilled to get it done and then on to replacing both knees. I may need left shoulder replaced eventually. Bionic does not even come close.But lupus is under control and I am full of myself and feeling pretty good with much rest and relaxation as I am trying to stay off legs. I have regular PT still... forever probably,which is great for me. Claudia is my PT from Germany and is excellent at her job and I really like her as a friend. It is rare to truly feel a friendship-kinship with a therapist or health care worker. There is a professional distance they usually keep. Claudia is not this type of person. Again I am blessed.

I had a mole removed and biopsied which looked suspicious but was just irritated and no skin cancer for me thank goodness. I am happy to have good test results.

I also have the good fortune of having a friends horse boarded across the street who needs a little attention and loving. I am able to go over, with Doug, and spend time with the horses. Bart is her guys name and he is a 17 hand chestnut with two left white socks and a star. He reminds me of my first horse Huckleberry Finn. Huck was 16 hands...still big. Bart and I are in the "getting to know one another" stage. I have not been around horses in a while. What a treat !! Thank you Dale for this opportunity. It's nice to have him so close and to meet another neighbor too.

All in all with the economy,snowy-cold-icy holiday weather and political challenges, both here and abroad,it has been a hopeful week. I see a slight change for the positive happening in peoples attitudes and in social responsibility coming from people and corporations who finally understand the need for the world to come together to do good things for the planet and it's inhabitants. What tends to come with challenging times is a group mentality for a common good. Sure we see greed with a vibrant clarity as it is uncovered and hedged out of the crevices of those minds who need to be put to task and held responsible. Philanthropy and volunteer-ism becomes more important and prolific as funds are decreasing. Families spend more time together at home talking, playing games, being creative, watching movies with pop corn and simply being together for meals. Instead of buying expensive gifts and sending tons of paper cards we see a trend of email cards, web cam greetings, phone calls and Skype calls with the ability to talk to family-friends out of country or in the armed services for free. Home made gifts made with love are so much more important than a cheap "made in China" plastic throw away toy. I love to receive and to give food made with love, fresh wreaths, flowers, home made candles and soaps etc.

Mary, my step mom, and I went to whole foods last week to shop for her families food basket and stocking stuffers for the holidays. This is the second Whole Foods in A2 and is right down the street! They have a wine bar and sushi bar with all kinds of other food stations. You can actually drink wine while shopping or take a load off, munch on good food and sip flights of wine and Michigan cheese after your shopping adventure. It was a wonderful way to shop. If you are in A2 check it out.

Tiz the season to share with those who have less. I see a world in which we can live in peace and harmony with simple needs and humble hearts. Perhaps we should head that lesson all the time as opposed to filling out our own wish lists and checking it twice. I feel very grateful!!