crazy sexy cancer

http://crazysexycancer.com

Check out the link.......... It is kind of what I am attempting to do with lupus (my story as well as others). It inspired me as did this other site called "Voices of Lupus" project. I spoke with the writer-graphic designer and she wants to do something similar as well in print. It is raw and in your face yet funny and hopeful. My idea is to have a journal-video-blog DVD attached to a book which can be read and watched for those who are more movie oriented. I like old fashioned books best but video captures raw moments, tender times and the moments or experiences one can only see with a peephole into one's life. "A Lupus peep show" so to speak. Multimedia combination of written word, recorded voice, photos, video and journal entries. Along with other peoples input. Music, art, poems too. Capture moments never seen or spoken.....Let it show my withdrawn veins while the nurse takes half hour to find one which will give a bit of blood or accept the toxic chemicals called chemo, or all the bruises which mysteriously form from barely being touched. "Really, Doug does not beat me...these bruises appear in the middle of the day and I wonder: did I fall and forgot?" No...I just bruise easily and that can be exploited too. I have given up on vanity and being pretty. There has to be a great quote somewhere for this one? I still have my personality.............heehaw

Very inspirational. "Now, is there a drug for energy Dr's?" I get so tired and nauseous it's always something. Today I will try to eat dinner out of the garden with lovely leftover trout from my great friends Steven and Kitty !!! So tasty !! I made a peach, tomato, caper, lime, olive, onion and hearts of palm escabche and baked it in the oven.............with acorn squash. Add some steamed kale and I am in heaven. Shaky stomach yesterday. My neighbor took me out for dinner. I felt bad taking most of it home but I did enjoy her company and some comfort food. I wore these new jeans I bought at TJ Max in the girls Dept. size 5. I have to take them in now because my butt, due to it's increasing flatness, allows pants to slide down fairly easily, and there will be no cracks of my a__ showing "fo sho".

Tried taking off the pain patch again for a couple days but I see how it keeps the pain right within manageable ranges so I can push a little harder in PT and still sleep. Maybe today I can curl 4 pounds instead of 3? Little steps I have learned lead to huge leaps if one dares to take that first shuffle. It has taken me a year but I walk with out aid(90%) of the time and I am not in level 10 pain all the time. I can cook, drive close to home, shop and do other fairly normal things. My friend Dale has really inspired me beyond words to keep on truckin !!!

On a personal note....Please call, just don't call before 10 am, between 3-5 or after 8 pm. You will likely get the machine and hang up in frustration that every time you call you get the machine. Well how do I know you call unless you leave a message? Not all callers show ID. So please leave messages. Sometimes I am in the garden or outside where the phone will not reach. Sometimes I am napping or watching a compelling movie. Sometimes I just do not want to talk because it takes too much energy. Be patient. You know who you are................I do not always call everyone else either. Big family, you understand? I love and miss my friends and family and right now I just do not have all it takes to hold the phone and repeat the same story over and over. Letters or cards are nice too. But I know you are there. Check the blog this is the best way for me to communicate. !!!

Much Love and a Bit of Whining
Angela