Tuesday, February 19, 2008

good news

the pharmacist, whom i love, emailed to tell me after researching found out i was not taking the malfunctioning patch and she did not order from that batch or wholesaler and all is good except i am having a major itch reaction and can not just quit taking it, as with any opiate. i really feel i am immuned to drug addiction in that sense but i forget that all opiates have a chemical addiction. just because i am not dependent on it emotionally and can stop taking it whenever i decide, it only shows my will is stronger than that chemical reaction the body feels so strongly. i sometimes have thought i was immuned from chemical or any dependency and in my mind i am (except for chardonay). the fact is that with any medication one needs to slowly stop instead of abruptly stopping. i learned a lesson i have had to learn many times as all chronically ill people do. sometimes we get very sick of all the medications, treatments, illnesses, side effects, social ramifications and all that goes with being with a chronic and sometimes life threatening illness. with that i know i need some rest this week.

the large buddha in our apt. is the best healing mode for me now !!! i meditated with it for an hour and felt so relaxed.