Human Hind Sight

Looking back over the past weeks I can see how a fissure can turn into a break quite easily under the lightest of pressure. I have had some time to reflect over yesterday and the night before. I spoke to a Dr. friend who helped me put some things into perspective from a physicians side. They have to keep a personal distance from the human element to protect themselves and make unemotional decisions which can cause great discomfort, hardship and pain to the patient and family whom they are treating. So they put up their shell and do their job with out allowing themselves to get attached. I can relate to that, however, at some point there does need to be a human connection. It can happen because I have it with many Dr.'s and health care professionals. I also see how they turn into different people when wearing the white coat, as do patients when they adorn themselves with hospital gowns and IV bags. In that way we each have clearly defined roles and numbers attached to each case so the humanity can be placed on hold while administering medicine. I do not agree but I accept that is "what is". I will be making it more of a mission to bring in the human element. Today at 2:00 I go back to hospital for a new infusion of antibiotic (Daptomycin). Hopefully it will work. They think I will only need the IV for a month. I hope that is all. Can you tell I am stir crazy? In need of getting my life and health back? heck yes !!!!!

The birds in our feeders are becoming more varied and even finches are landing once again. The ducks and geese are flying back up north and a change is in the air. I saw a woodchuck but not sure if she saw her shadow? Friends are talking about their gardening plans for the year. We compare seeds and plans as if we were entering a 4-H club. The excitement of growing food and digging in the warm dirt gives hope and a sense of accomplishment seldom found in our highly technical world of sterility. I look at the homes in subdivisions as I drive by and notice not a single child playing outdoors. It is a whole new world. So perhaps spring will bring us out of our shells and we can begin the plans of outdoor adventures this summer and connecting with mother nature.