Time on my hands

For the past two plus months, and then some, I have had way too much time on my hands. I have spent two trips in the hospital, had home nursing, watched TV, listened to music, meditated, read magazines, books and catalogs. I have tried to knit, unsuccessfully. I have talked on the phone regularly to certain peeps and have spent much time staring out the window blankly while letting my brain run wild or simply empty. I have slept, not slept, tossed and turned, given myself daily IV's and spent way too much time with medical professionals and in hospital. I have pondered, prayed, projected, postulated and procrastinated. I've written, diddled, emailed, sent cards, read cards, Googled, blogged and Skyped. (Are we still in America? Words we never knew are now a part of Wikopedea's vocabulary). I have eaten and drank....perhaps even too much at times, yet I seem to find balance with it all when I take a moment to face the mirror. I know my weaknesses even better than most because I have lots of time to analyze them and correct them, if I am lucky. Faults, I have a few, yet they do not seem to be as bad as those poor fools on reality TV. Is that real? Really? In the end the Razors Edge is just what it sounds like: a thin and possibly sharp line between two worlds or two mental perceptions of reality. There are fine lines between everything in the human psyche, as I have discovered during this self imposed "sabbatical". I highly recommended taking personal time for an extended period. You will be bored and perhaps lonely at times but you will find things out about yourself that you never knew...whether you like it or not. If you don't judge yourself you can change, grow and actually love what you see in the mirror: the way the creator made you. That is what I find so wonderful about being a human spirit.