http://www.youtube.com/lupusfoundation#p/u/1/0HyD-bHFFjI
Check out the you tube video for "Band Together For Lupus"
Friday, December 18, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
A new Day and a New Blog
Hello friends and family,
This blog will now be used for medical updates only. I have started a new blog with a new design and features and a whole new spin on my writing. It will take a few days to get it up and running smoothly so please check in time to time. Thank you for walking this earthly path with me.
Love and Light,
Angela
AngelasGuide.com
This blog will now be used for medical updates only. I have started a new blog with a new design and features and a whole new spin on my writing. It will take a few days to get it up and running smoothly so please check in time to time. Thank you for walking this earthly path with me.
Love and Light,
Angela
AngelasGuide.com
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Riana commenting to my question
These Days in French Life's creator answered my question, and many other people's as well, as to how to live a slow life in colder areas outside of the South of France. Here is her thoughtful response. I will not go dumpster diving. But the rest are goals to achieve. http://www.frenchtoastfrance.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Where can you live a Slow Year?
Many people have asked me if they can live this kind of life anywhere, not just in rural south of France. Of course. You can stop consuming, using money, absolutely anywhere in the world, especially in your town. I actually am jealous of my friends and readers in big cities like Paris, NYC, Los Angeles… (two of those cities I once lived in for many years completely clueless of all the opportunities at my fingertips).
There is so much opportunity to be a non-consumer in big metropolises and wonderful mass-public transportation to boot. Imagine each store that you see along those miles of boulevards- each one has a trash bin full of clothes, food, band aids, coffee, houseplants; etc. So many stores, so much waste! Those daily farmers markets with like minded people that would gladly give you free bags of bruised fruit for your “animals”. What a wonderful place to be a dumpster diver and freegan. You could feed a whole apartment building with one day’s worth of one grocery store’s green bin waste.
Which brings me to community: once we started our slow year, it became obvious that we were not “dropping out” of society and running off to the mountains to live in a cave or off to ten acre ranch with no neighbors for miles. Quite the opposite, we became more involved in our community, we need them for bartering and trading, advice and sharing labors, and for giving away our excess of food and clothes. Keeping the balance of good karma.
We got a house that is locked into a maze of twenty other houses, not a garden in any of them. But somehow we found, or it found us—a community garden across the bridge (it is about kilometer walk away) to share a plot of land. But food can be grown in pots, on terraces (hanging gardens) and squatting on abandoned lots is quite successful with raised beds. Gardening is hard work, farming is even harder and back-breaking though immensely rewarding. It is not for everyone. They are not necessary to living a slow year, we had neither our first slow year.
Not everyone has the Wise walking weed woman living next door, but you have massive libraries, and giant bookstores, full of the same knowledge. And the Internet with groups that are like minded (blogs like mine for example). Craig's list has free listings, and freecycle, of course and there is even a website in my region called c’est gratiut where people list what they want to give away- for awhile there was a Mercedes station wagon! All this information is there for you just waiting to be tapped.
On foraging, much easier than gardening and it involves exercise, walking, getting to know your streets, and neighbors- maybe at first stick to edible flowers, nuts and fruits near the dirty parts of town (ie dog shit littered sidewalks in Paris) but look to the arboretums, nature parks, those green belts that all cities have that are kept clean and green. Central park is a virtual salad bar of wild edibles. Fallenfruit.org in Los Angeles gives you a neighbourhood guide of where you can pick govt property pomegranates, oranges, lemons, plums, walnuts, persimmons.
What about those great big city food co-ops, high end organic grocery stores with prime pickings- often they are cool about trash picking. And CSA’s that ofter free gleaning after they have harvested. All the sources for organic beef, chicken and pork can be found easily through these networks.
Most of all, what happens with a Slow Year, happens inside. In your home. Deciding not to spend money. Opting to forgo a new car or designer wardrobe in place of cutting out that second job that feeds a corporation not your family. It happens in your kitchen making food from scratch, fixing and repairing instead of purchasing, finding alternatives for toilet paper, toothpaste and shampoo and things you would have bought previously. It means making gifts and gift wrap, thinking outside the box.
And really, it all starts deep inside your head. Fighting the demons that have brainwashed us into being slaves for money, keeping up with the Joneses with new cars, clothes and gadgets, falling into consumerism traps and follies. You can do a slow year, in any town, any village, any country in the this world. It all starts with a mindset. The rest will follow, the universe will provide no matter where you live.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Where can you live a Slow Year?
Many people have asked me if they can live this kind of life anywhere, not just in rural south of France. Of course. You can stop consuming, using money, absolutely anywhere in the world, especially in your town. I actually am jealous of my friends and readers in big cities like Paris, NYC, Los Angeles… (two of those cities I once lived in for many years completely clueless of all the opportunities at my fingertips).
There is so much opportunity to be a non-consumer in big metropolises and wonderful mass-public transportation to boot. Imagine each store that you see along those miles of boulevards- each one has a trash bin full of clothes, food, band aids, coffee, houseplants; etc. So many stores, so much waste! Those daily farmers markets with like minded people that would gladly give you free bags of bruised fruit for your “animals”. What a wonderful place to be a dumpster diver and freegan. You could feed a whole apartment building with one day’s worth of one grocery store’s green bin waste.
Which brings me to community: once we started our slow year, it became obvious that we were not “dropping out” of society and running off to the mountains to live in a cave or off to ten acre ranch with no neighbors for miles. Quite the opposite, we became more involved in our community, we need them for bartering and trading, advice and sharing labors, and for giving away our excess of food and clothes. Keeping the balance of good karma.
We got a house that is locked into a maze of twenty other houses, not a garden in any of them. But somehow we found, or it found us—a community garden across the bridge (it is about kilometer walk away) to share a plot of land. But food can be grown in pots, on terraces (hanging gardens) and squatting on abandoned lots is quite successful with raised beds. Gardening is hard work, farming is even harder and back-breaking though immensely rewarding. It is not for everyone. They are not necessary to living a slow year, we had neither our first slow year.
Not everyone has the Wise walking weed woman living next door, but you have massive libraries, and giant bookstores, full of the same knowledge. And the Internet with groups that are like minded (blogs like mine for example). Craig's list has free listings, and freecycle, of course and there is even a website in my region called c’est gratiut where people list what they want to give away- for awhile there was a Mercedes station wagon! All this information is there for you just waiting to be tapped.
On foraging, much easier than gardening and it involves exercise, walking, getting to know your streets, and neighbors- maybe at first stick to edible flowers, nuts and fruits near the dirty parts of town (ie dog shit littered sidewalks in Paris) but look to the arboretums, nature parks, those green belts that all cities have that are kept clean and green. Central park is a virtual salad bar of wild edibles. Fallenfruit.org in Los Angeles gives you a neighbourhood guide of where you can pick govt property pomegranates, oranges, lemons, plums, walnuts, persimmons.
What about those great big city food co-ops, high end organic grocery stores with prime pickings- often they are cool about trash picking. And CSA’s that ofter free gleaning after they have harvested. All the sources for organic beef, chicken and pork can be found easily through these networks.
Most of all, what happens with a Slow Year, happens inside. In your home. Deciding not to spend money. Opting to forgo a new car or designer wardrobe in place of cutting out that second job that feeds a corporation not your family. It happens in your kitchen making food from scratch, fixing and repairing instead of purchasing, finding alternatives for toilet paper, toothpaste and shampoo and things you would have bought previously. It means making gifts and gift wrap, thinking outside the box.
And really, it all starts deep inside your head. Fighting the demons that have brainwashed us into being slaves for money, keeping up with the Joneses with new cars, clothes and gadgets, falling into consumerism traps and follies. You can do a slow year, in any town, any village, any country in the this world. It all starts with a mindset. The rest will follow, the universe will provide no matter where you live.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Bone chillin
I am feeling the bone chilling snowy cold at the moment. I really do not mind the winter if prepared and warm. It is very pretty outside and the white blanket on the grass is only the beginning. It is not even winter yet. I think we are in for a long one.
So I count down with dread the days till Doug leaves for Tennessee. He will be gone longer than expected and I am not thrilled nor is he, but very grateful for the work. He is so concerned to leave me alone in the winter. I am too quite honestly. It is a lot to keep the wood stove going in the basement, collecting kindling, recycling, trash up the hill to road in the ice and dealing with regular power outages. I sure love being home though. I think I did not realize how fragile I am now after 6 joint replacements and more to come. I structurally feel more fragile (weak) than I ever have and that is so very hard for me to admit. I have prided myself on how strong I have been. I was always the tom boy and challenging anyone to arm wrestling or a race. Now I feel happy to walk to the car with out falling a breaking a bone or dislocating a hip. PT yesterday really wiped me out which spurred on this realization. Next week we go to 3 days a week for 1.25 hours. It is great but I feel it more now than ever in all joints and bones. My poor therapist is afraid she will hurt me. Simple things seems challenging. I need my guy home!
I guess this is how it feels to age. Yet I am only 43. Just glad lupus is behaving now and kidneys are doing well at the moment. I just wish and pray Douglas will find work here in Michigan one of these days soon. it will be a while, if ever, I will be able to work again. I do not know know how long we can keep this up. He is not getting younger either. We occasionally talk about moving back down south or to a smaller place in town. I can not even consider a move at this point and I have such a fabulous team of health care providers I would be lost anywhere else. I have moved 25 times in my life. I really plan to be here forever but we shall see. To even think it feels odd considering how special this land and home are. We talk of other options too for work-income. We shall see where the economy goes. We are all in this together. Doug and I are blessed to have one another ! That is what counts, that and our family-friends.
So I count down with dread the days till Doug leaves for Tennessee. He will be gone longer than expected and I am not thrilled nor is he, but very grateful for the work. He is so concerned to leave me alone in the winter. I am too quite honestly. It is a lot to keep the wood stove going in the basement, collecting kindling, recycling, trash up the hill to road in the ice and dealing with regular power outages. I sure love being home though. I think I did not realize how fragile I am now after 6 joint replacements and more to come. I structurally feel more fragile (weak) than I ever have and that is so very hard for me to admit. I have prided myself on how strong I have been. I was always the tom boy and challenging anyone to arm wrestling or a race. Now I feel happy to walk to the car with out falling a breaking a bone or dislocating a hip. PT yesterday really wiped me out which spurred on this realization. Next week we go to 3 days a week for 1.25 hours. It is great but I feel it more now than ever in all joints and bones. My poor therapist is afraid she will hurt me. Simple things seems challenging. I need my guy home!
I guess this is how it feels to age. Yet I am only 43. Just glad lupus is behaving now and kidneys are doing well at the moment. I just wish and pray Douglas will find work here in Michigan one of these days soon. it will be a while, if ever, I will be able to work again. I do not know know how long we can keep this up. He is not getting younger either. We occasionally talk about moving back down south or to a smaller place in town. I can not even consider a move at this point and I have such a fabulous team of health care providers I would be lost anywhere else. I have moved 25 times in my life. I really plan to be here forever but we shall see. To even think it feels odd considering how special this land and home are. We talk of other options too for work-income. We shall see where the economy goes. We are all in this together. Doug and I are blessed to have one another ! That is what counts, that and our family-friends.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Baby it's cold outside............
It is very cold here in the sub arctic and the winds are blowing up a 50 per mile hour storm. I hear trees and see a few falling in the woods......So glad we topped our critical dead ones. We still have a lot to clear but no neighbors will be knocking on our doors about trees falling on their land.Power flickering in and out and snow-ice mix are causing a long cold winters night(s). I am worried about my friends who are camping somewhere in all this. C and M if you are reading this please phone home. Ice in your tent does not sound good. Also please let me know if you plan to be coming through here on your way home.
Halo (Angel-Brent) is visiting next week. I am looking forward to his visit. He has been a dear friend for so many years. He is from deep Mississippi and is a "Highlander" by birthright, tartan-kilt and all. His sister lives in the burbs of Detroit and he is flying in and renting a car to see us both. Little does he know Doug has plans for him to be a lumber jack. It seems to be the way Doug bonds with male friends and his brothers(in-law). Howie knows best !!! It is a way of paying for room and board. I am happy the wood stove, once it gathers heat, is keeping our little piglets warm. It truly is amazing how much heat our wood stove puts out after two days of running full steam it is like a sauna in the west side of the house even with garage doors cracked. The east side, well that is another story. I just have to remember to give my stews and dishes more time on the stove to cook. That is how well insulated it is. I had lentil soup on it all day last Sunday and I still had to push it along on the electric stove. Yet the satisfaction of having a pot of food stewing all day on the wood stove would be satisfaction enough. Do you think the food channel would create a show for me to entice people to live and cook semi-off the grid? Put in a good word for me and you might get a baked goose. Speaking of which I, have a stew which has our name it now with neighbors cabbage, Michigan beef and a salad made of neighbors arugula,mizuma greens,my frozen garden peppers, oregano and sage from the garden to spice things up.
For those of you who are reading or who have read "Lacuna"....I am at the portion where he (narrator) is living in Asheville and having his first encounter with the old "mountain dialect" from Madison County, after living in Mexico with Diego Rivera and Frida Khalo. I remember when I first encountered this odd dialect and I was hanging on every word or utterance of vocabulary I could understand. It was not good or bad, nor a judgment, but a realization that we have many dialects in our country which have yet to be fully exposed (not as many as India) enough to make one think while listening to the spoken words in their own "country", so to speak. Remember the movie with Jodie Foster? ("Tay in the waynd?). There are so many people out there living the life of the ones who went before, especially in the mountains of the south. It is hard to imagine there are kids who have never heard of TV. I met a few. In West Va., SC and NC there are many communities separated from modern times by choice and some by ignorance. There are still moon shines and runners and traps in these old hills(thank goodness). Nascar was started in this way.........by moonshine runners. Our friend wrote a book on the history and I was amazed. I sold land in the NC Blue Ridge Mountains(unfortunately now I am looking back) and would come up on all sorts of old(some not so old) stills. Always an interesting find!!!!I had a good relationship with the locals and they would bring us deer meat and watch over me while I gave them privacy and respect. I think that if you are going to drink it you should make it. i actually enjoyed the few tastes I had of moon shine. Now I use store bought "Grain Alcohol" in the making of medicinal and herbal tinctures(like echinacea, golden seal etc.) Us herbalists are shy and weak in constitution by nature. Point is: that if you have the gifts of family recipes....you should use them. In moderation folks !!! No fast driving to the shooting range or the new restaurant, sky diving, disco dancing, deer hunting, open mike at the moose lodge or gallery openings while under the moon shine influence. So I iwll let taht be said and eat and drink in the moon !!!!
Halo (Angel-Brent) is visiting next week. I am looking forward to his visit. He has been a dear friend for so many years. He is from deep Mississippi and is a "Highlander" by birthright, tartan-kilt and all. His sister lives in the burbs of Detroit and he is flying in and renting a car to see us both. Little does he know Doug has plans for him to be a lumber jack. It seems to be the way Doug bonds with male friends and his brothers(in-law). Howie knows best !!! It is a way of paying for room and board. I am happy the wood stove, once it gathers heat, is keeping our little piglets warm. It truly is amazing how much heat our wood stove puts out after two days of running full steam it is like a sauna in the west side of the house even with garage doors cracked. The east side, well that is another story. I just have to remember to give my stews and dishes more time on the stove to cook. That is how well insulated it is. I had lentil soup on it all day last Sunday and I still had to push it along on the electric stove. Yet the satisfaction of having a pot of food stewing all day on the wood stove would be satisfaction enough. Do you think the food channel would create a show for me to entice people to live and cook semi-off the grid? Put in a good word for me and you might get a baked goose. Speaking of which I, have a stew which has our name it now with neighbors cabbage, Michigan beef and a salad made of neighbors arugula,mizuma greens,my frozen garden peppers, oregano and sage from the garden to spice things up.
For those of you who are reading or who have read "Lacuna"....I am at the portion where he (narrator) is living in Asheville and having his first encounter with the old "mountain dialect" from Madison County, after living in Mexico with Diego Rivera and Frida Khalo. I remember when I first encountered this odd dialect and I was hanging on every word or utterance of vocabulary I could understand. It was not good or bad, nor a judgment, but a realization that we have many dialects in our country which have yet to be fully exposed (not as many as India) enough to make one think while listening to the spoken words in their own "country", so to speak. Remember the movie with Jodie Foster? ("Tay in the waynd?). There are so many people out there living the life of the ones who went before, especially in the mountains of the south. It is hard to imagine there are kids who have never heard of TV. I met a few. In West Va., SC and NC there are many communities separated from modern times by choice and some by ignorance. There are still moon shines and runners and traps in these old hills(thank goodness). Nascar was started in this way.........by moonshine runners. Our friend wrote a book on the history and I was amazed. I sold land in the NC Blue Ridge Mountains(unfortunately now I am looking back) and would come up on all sorts of old(some not so old) stills. Always an interesting find!!!!I had a good relationship with the locals and they would bring us deer meat and watch over me while I gave them privacy and respect. I think that if you are going to drink it you should make it. i actually enjoyed the few tastes I had of moon shine. Now I use store bought "Grain Alcohol" in the making of medicinal and herbal tinctures(like echinacea, golden seal etc.) Us herbalists are shy and weak in constitution by nature. Point is: that if you have the gifts of family recipes....you should use them. In moderation folks !!! No fast driving to the shooting range or the new restaurant, sky diving, disco dancing, deer hunting, open mike at the moose lodge or gallery openings while under the moon shine influence. So I iwll let taht be said and eat and drink in the moon !!!!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
"Gag me with a toothbrush"
Has anyone out there ever had a gag reflex? This is new to me. The past few months I have had an irritating cold which seems to come and go. With it comes an even more irritating "Gag Reflex" when brushing my teeth and coughing. I used to think gag reflex was a term used for my sister's weak stomach, long car rides and the occasional high school hang over. Now I am gagging every time I brush my teeth and cough And I am no high scholar. It is almost like throwing up without going through the motions. I hate throwing up!!!!Even during Chemo IV treatments I held it together for fear of going beyond the gag. Now I wonder if I should be concerned? I do not like this.
Do tell if you have any advise. I am gagging over here !!!!
Do tell if you have any advise. I am gagging over here !!!!
As the Holdays arrive......I am split in two
This time of year brings out two opposing selves with my one body-mind-spirit self: One is trying to get off the consumer teet and exchange only gifts of the heart-hand and nothing store bought. The other half of me is so used to the old warm fuzzy holiday cheer and all it's glory. I spent all of the weekend after Thanksgiving watching the Hallmark Network. Now that will take one back in time. Yet they also shared a similar message. What is it about the holiday season (Christmas, Hanukkah,Kwanzaa, Solstice and whatever else people celebrate around the world) which makes us examine our motives,desires, financial abilities and lack there of, need for consumerism, expectations and all the not so needed stress which goes along with the seasonal rush to please? It is as if we lost site of what this time represents for people of all faiths and beliefs.
The most important thing is the gift of giving and receiving all the love the world and God and mother earth has to offer. There is no dollar amount to that. What we can equate is our love and our intentions, yet within our means. I know people who have gone into deep debt to satisfy the desires of their children and those who feel a need to have gifts from Target, K-mart, the mall and other places where only material items exist. The long lines of inpatient and rude customers are a "big hint" which sings that "something is not quite right with that old scenario".
So I come to the place of explaining my unusual Holiday request............I ask that you do something very different this year, if you have not yet already started. I ask that you stop yourself from consuming anything which is not absolutely necessary and makes sure you can afford it. Also that you email your cards instead of sending them with paper and stamps. "Cold"...I can hear my family now. This is not to stamp out old Chris Kringle it is a call for balance. In a consumer driven society, which has not worked out so well for many, I see the cup half full, yet still. I see there is a chance to pick up the old fashioned phone to wish cheer as opposed to sending a card.I can feel the joy of my elder neighbor when I call her to see if I can bring over a loaf of fresh baked bread. It is the smallest of ventures which bring about some of largest pay offs in joy and hope. I hope we all look at how much we could "do with out" in a world riddled with credit issues, defaults and junk piles of stuff building up in our landfills and oceans. We need to feel good about our choices. I feel good about my choices this year because I am in debt. I do not have the ability to buy when I owe so much. That is the bottom line here. It is responsibility and integrity for me personally. Kids don't mind making cookies and getting something home made from love, as long as they understand why. There is a story to tell which could save our future. Join in the discussion. Happy Happy !!! and throw away the credit cards !!!!! If interested check out www.freecycle.com. it is a way to trade with people in your area like a barter system.I have not used it but I have friends who have found and given great stuff.
The most important thing is the gift of giving and receiving all the love the world and God and mother earth has to offer. There is no dollar amount to that. What we can equate is our love and our intentions, yet within our means. I know people who have gone into deep debt to satisfy the desires of their children and those who feel a need to have gifts from Target, K-mart, the mall and other places where only material items exist. The long lines of inpatient and rude customers are a "big hint" which sings that "something is not quite right with that old scenario".
So I come to the place of explaining my unusual Holiday request............I ask that you do something very different this year, if you have not yet already started. I ask that you stop yourself from consuming anything which is not absolutely necessary and makes sure you can afford it. Also that you email your cards instead of sending them with paper and stamps. "Cold"...I can hear my family now. This is not to stamp out old Chris Kringle it is a call for balance. In a consumer driven society, which has not worked out so well for many, I see the cup half full, yet still. I see there is a chance to pick up the old fashioned phone to wish cheer as opposed to sending a card.I can feel the joy of my elder neighbor when I call her to see if I can bring over a loaf of fresh baked bread. It is the smallest of ventures which bring about some of largest pay offs in joy and hope. I hope we all look at how much we could "do with out" in a world riddled with credit issues, defaults and junk piles of stuff building up in our landfills and oceans. We need to feel good about our choices. I feel good about my choices this year because I am in debt. I do not have the ability to buy when I owe so much. That is the bottom line here. It is responsibility and integrity for me personally. Kids don't mind making cookies and getting something home made from love, as long as they understand why. There is a story to tell which could save our future. Join in the discussion. Happy Happy !!! and throw away the credit cards !!!!! If interested check out www.freecycle.com. it is a way to trade with people in your area like a barter system.I have not used it but I have friends who have found and given great stuff.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Good Duck Recipe with stuffing
Take a four-five pound duck, split the bird down the belly, not through to the back, you will want to spread the duck with skin side up onto a roast pan. Then generously pat down all of the bird with kosher salt and place it on a roasting pan with drip pan under and leave uncovered on the bottom shelf of fridge for four days. This cures the meat to a degree and toughens the skin which will hold in juices. Bake it on 275 in the oven turning once but still uncovered until meat temp is 180. Flip over skin side up and take out of oven. Turn up oven to 450 and bake it long enough to crisp up the skin about ten minutes. It sounds over cooked but that is OK because you cured it. Then drain off fat into a bowl to save for sauteing potato or roasting vegetables. Cover the duck and move on. Saute in butter or olive oil a one cup celery chopped, one large onion and a few cloves of garlic chopped and small shallot with salt and pepper and turn oven to 375 while veggies are becoming watery. Add one pound of crumbled cornbread and 1 bag crumbled oyster crackers, two eggs, fresh sage and parsley chopped or dried to taste and salt and freshly cracked pepper with a quarter cup stock and a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce. Add some more butter or oil, mix with hands and place in a casserole dish bake until crispy on top. Options: You can add cooked ground sausage, bacon, soysage, apples, sweet potato, carrots, cooked rice or other grains, nuts, chestnut meat, dried fruits or farm raised raw oysters cut into bite sized pieces. Buy your oysters in October when in season and inexpensive and freeze for up to 3 months in their brine. Serve the duck with the bird skin up still "splayed" then place the dressing all around the edge of the platter. Serve with a wild cherry relish like cranberry relish but with cherries. Enjoy !!!!!
For a smoky duck try placing hickory chips, which have been soaked in water, in the bottom of the roating pan. But you will loose your drippings. You could also put the chips in another pan in the oven on the bottom shelf. Keep adding water.
For a smoky duck try placing hickory chips, which have been soaked in water, in the bottom of the roating pan. But you will loose your drippings. You could also put the chips in another pan in the oven on the bottom shelf. Keep adding water.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Last Supper
Nina has a buyer for her casa "Eden Brook" and happily is ready to make the transition into a simpler home. The house is a lot to maintain and an expensive one in these times. She is also working too much to be home and involved at the level she desired. It is time after 3 and a half years to move on. I would love for her to stay with me while Douglas is in Tennessee. We were once room mates and enjoy one anothers company.
I have to say, when Doug and I are invited to a dinner or event where we will not know anyone besides the hosts, especially those types of dinners where it is expected of you to give full professional disclosure, network and come home with a stack of business cards of those who could assist your business or vice verca. I usually have to drink 1-2 glasses of wine to make it in the door and a couple more while making my way through the room to find a friendly face. Someone perhaps as out of place as me. Douglas is always the voyuer in the corner watching the networking crowd work one another while he hides as if made invisible. Within an hour we are ready to leave and make our way quietly to the door. "Where did Doug and Angela go?" someone will say. "Not sure they were here a minute ago". These experiences are excruciating to say the least. Self promotion and "selling" our business talents is not our favorite task. I prefer clipping my toe nails. So you can imagine I was very pleasantly surprised last night when Nina's dinner party of 9 turned into a wonderful evening which flew by fast thanks to lots of agreeable and interesting conversations, none of which had to do with self promotion. Nina was a gracious hostess and very relaxed with this lovely group of people. We all had much in common and small world incidences unveiled themselves. It felt like we knew one another for years, like family. Five hours flew by so fast. I never make it to 12:30 except for Max and Terry's annual party which starts late but we did last night.
I really enjoyed myself and so did Douglas. The gathering consisted of Nina's new friends she has met through Natural Awakenings Magazine and the articles she wrote, is writing, for the publication in addition to a "class" or gathering she has once a month(I think) where people can speak about the changes we face on the planet and their concerns or insights. We truly did enjoy the evenings conversations and the food was amazing !!! Nina rolled out the red carpet in a relaxed-comfortable way. We felt we met dear old friends. What a great last meal in a precious home which served her well. A new journey is ahead and with open heart and a willingness to adapt to the changes in our economy, environment, world affairs etc. and to support one another through these tough times.
Cheers to Nina !!!!
I have to say, when Doug and I are invited to a dinner or event where we will not know anyone besides the hosts, especially those types of dinners where it is expected of you to give full professional disclosure, network and come home with a stack of business cards of those who could assist your business or vice verca. I usually have to drink 1-2 glasses of wine to make it in the door and a couple more while making my way through the room to find a friendly face. Someone perhaps as out of place as me. Douglas is always the voyuer in the corner watching the networking crowd work one another while he hides as if made invisible. Within an hour we are ready to leave and make our way quietly to the door. "Where did Doug and Angela go?" someone will say. "Not sure they were here a minute ago". These experiences are excruciating to say the least. Self promotion and "selling" our business talents is not our favorite task. I prefer clipping my toe nails. So you can imagine I was very pleasantly surprised last night when Nina's dinner party of 9 turned into a wonderful evening which flew by fast thanks to lots of agreeable and interesting conversations, none of which had to do with self promotion. Nina was a gracious hostess and very relaxed with this lovely group of people. We all had much in common and small world incidences unveiled themselves. It felt like we knew one another for years, like family. Five hours flew by so fast. I never make it to 12:30 except for Max and Terry's annual party which starts late but we did last night.
I really enjoyed myself and so did Douglas. The gathering consisted of Nina's new friends she has met through Natural Awakenings Magazine and the articles she wrote, is writing, for the publication in addition to a "class" or gathering she has once a month(I think) where people can speak about the changes we face on the planet and their concerns or insights. We truly did enjoy the evenings conversations and the food was amazing !!! Nina rolled out the red carpet in a relaxed-comfortable way. We felt we met dear old friends. What a great last meal in a precious home which served her well. A new journey is ahead and with open heart and a willingness to adapt to the changes in our economy, environment, world affairs etc. and to support one another through these tough times.
Cheers to Nina !!!!
A new little man enetered the world yeterday LBS
LBS stands for Lawson Bryce Saul. My nephew Caleb and his wife Holly are now proud parents after Holy survived 13 hours of total labor and just the last two hours of pushing. Ouchy. He is healthy and at over 7.6 pounds and 21 inches at length. Hair already !!! They are proud parents indeed. My grandfather, his name sake, is happy the only grandson will be carrying on the Saul name, with his great grandson's first name being Lawson. Same initials too LBS. It's a family joke how and when we call him LBS.
So we are happy and this will be a fabulous Christmas gift for their new little family.
All is good and cold on the home front. We are now officially heating with wood and I am going to make a lentil soup on the wood stove today. Will try to cook with it more this year. I have a cast iron dutch oven which can be placed on the coals for meat stews and I could bake bread on top slowly in small loaves. Cornbread does well. I was going to attempt making corn tortillas on the top with a cast iron skillet.
My friend heard my call for greens and greeted me at the door with a huge trash bag filled with greens, eggs,cabbage and a buttery lettuce green with arugula. Perfect timing because I was supposed to cook greens for a dinner gathering at Nina's and my garden is done producing. Douglas had to turn up the kale which was infested with slugs and cut works and bitter. We have some mustard but not enough for 8 people. So she saved me!! Then we spent a quiet late afternoon noshing and sipping wine while Douglas fixed the sink. I was cleaning a pork loin when the drain pipe broke loose sending a river of slimy pork juice and water all over the bottom of the sink, me and the kitchen floor. It could not be repaired. After clean up he went to Lowes for supplies and was able to have it fixed before dinner. Always something. One must laugh at these things. It is so nice to have a friend two doors down who has similar interests and can come into our home with pork juice all over the place !!!!and bearing a bag of greens. Woman after my own heart.
So we are happy and this will be a fabulous Christmas gift for their new little family.
All is good and cold on the home front. We are now officially heating with wood and I am going to make a lentil soup on the wood stove today. Will try to cook with it more this year. I have a cast iron dutch oven which can be placed on the coals for meat stews and I could bake bread on top slowly in small loaves. Cornbread does well. I was going to attempt making corn tortillas on the top with a cast iron skillet.
My friend heard my call for greens and greeted me at the door with a huge trash bag filled with greens, eggs,cabbage and a buttery lettuce green with arugula. Perfect timing because I was supposed to cook greens for a dinner gathering at Nina's and my garden is done producing. Douglas had to turn up the kale which was infested with slugs and cut works and bitter. We have some mustard but not enough for 8 people. So she saved me!! Then we spent a quiet late afternoon noshing and sipping wine while Douglas fixed the sink. I was cleaning a pork loin when the drain pipe broke loose sending a river of slimy pork juice and water all over the bottom of the sink, me and the kitchen floor. It could not be repaired. After clean up he went to Lowes for supplies and was able to have it fixed before dinner. Always something. One must laugh at these things. It is so nice to have a friend two doors down who has similar interests and can come into our home with pork juice all over the place !!!!and bearing a bag of greens. Woman after my own heart.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Chicken foot soup from Riana Lagarde
chicken foot soup by These Days in French Life.
on the fire. it was firey hot too!
found the feet in my freezer, cleaned them hacked off the nails, made some hack marks on the feet, washed them again, scrubbed them, then boiled in hot ginger water, rinsed them off, cooked them in broth for 24 hours with ginger root, cilantro, onions, carrots, celery (all from freezer- previous dumpster dives) peppercorns, tomatoes, anything else i could find, garlic, half a habenero pepper, and cooked and cooked and cooked until they fell off the bone. by the time i served it, the soup was a rich thick gravy. i added potatoes and a sweet potato in the last hour to add some extra nutrition.
check out her blog: http://garlic-breath.blogspot.com/
on the fire. it was firey hot too!
found the feet in my freezer, cleaned them hacked off the nails, made some hack marks on the feet, washed them again, scrubbed them, then boiled in hot ginger water, rinsed them off, cooked them in broth for 24 hours with ginger root, cilantro, onions, carrots, celery (all from freezer- previous dumpster dives) peppercorns, tomatoes, anything else i could find, garlic, half a habenero pepper, and cooked and cooked and cooked until they fell off the bone. by the time i served it, the soup was a rich thick gravy. i added potatoes and a sweet potato in the last hour to add some extra nutrition.
check out her blog: http://garlic-breath.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
nothing like new bone growth to change one's attitude
Yes you heard me !! The bone around the new hip revision is starting to grow new bone. I am so excited I could..............walk. I am now using a cane and do not have tow ear the brace, for the most part. I can drive too!! and will test that out tomorrow on my way to PT. I am very happy and elated over the good news. There was great concern I would not generate bone growth or the "grafting" would not take, or worst yet, I would reject it. So far concerns are set aside for the next 8 moths of healing time. What a great Christmas present.
OK who else is tired of turkey leftovers? I ate the last of turkey salad and Douglas will eat the last of soup. A container with dad's name on it is hiding in the freezer. I am sure we all have eaten our body weight in turkey and sides this past week, especially those of us who can not throw away food. So last night we had lamb and spinach pie. I used a recipe from Ina Garten my friend Ginger sent and made some adaptations after opening the Feta container and smelling the stench of rotten cheese....sheep cheese at that. So I used a cooks intuition and replaced feta with ricotta and Parmesan. The crust I used was pie crust because I did not have phyllo. it was great. The lamb marinated and baked in lots of garlic and lemon juice was the tenderest I have tasted and melted in our mouths, was raised by local organic farmer. Leftovers anyone?
Douglas is picking the real last of the garden. I can not believe every tome we think we picked it all something grows back or pops up including nasturtium and calendula flowers and a single rose flower. Isn't mother nature amazing in all her glory? It is now winter and will have nights down int he 20's after tonight so I am sure that is the end of it. My friend Jennifer has cabbage and lots of greens and her chickens still producing eggs. That is good news. She has about five times the garden space we have and I know how fulfilled she must feel, but all gardeners-farmers are ready to slow down for the winter. It is time to turn the soil and place compost and leaves in the growing areas for winter to kill the bacteria and the aeration to begin. We put our leaves in there too which worms love. it is better than burning them. So life-death continues and we go from fall to winter. Time to hibernate and take stock in our hearth. it is a healing and nurturing time and involves little effort, unless you chop wood and carry water.
I am reading "Lacuna" by Barbara Kigsolver and it is wonderful. A visual masterpiece of which I can not put down. I am half way through and I highly recommend it for anyone who loves visually stimulating novels loosely based on history. If you are a fan of her or Gabriel Garcia Marquez then you will adore this fantastic journey taking place around the end of WW! and into mid 1900's in Mexico and in the United States. Frida Khalo and Diego Rivera included in the epic. I can see this as a movie for sure. Check it out.
OK who else is tired of turkey leftovers? I ate the last of turkey salad and Douglas will eat the last of soup. A container with dad's name on it is hiding in the freezer. I am sure we all have eaten our body weight in turkey and sides this past week, especially those of us who can not throw away food. So last night we had lamb and spinach pie. I used a recipe from Ina Garten my friend Ginger sent and made some adaptations after opening the Feta container and smelling the stench of rotten cheese....sheep cheese at that. So I used a cooks intuition and replaced feta with ricotta and Parmesan. The crust I used was pie crust because I did not have phyllo. it was great. The lamb marinated and baked in lots of garlic and lemon juice was the tenderest I have tasted and melted in our mouths, was raised by local organic farmer. Leftovers anyone?
Douglas is picking the real last of the garden. I can not believe every tome we think we picked it all something grows back or pops up including nasturtium and calendula flowers and a single rose flower. Isn't mother nature amazing in all her glory? It is now winter and will have nights down int he 20's after tonight so I am sure that is the end of it. My friend Jennifer has cabbage and lots of greens and her chickens still producing eggs. That is good news. She has about five times the garden space we have and I know how fulfilled she must feel, but all gardeners-farmers are ready to slow down for the winter. It is time to turn the soil and place compost and leaves in the growing areas for winter to kill the bacteria and the aeration to begin. We put our leaves in there too which worms love. it is better than burning them. So life-death continues and we go from fall to winter. Time to hibernate and take stock in our hearth. it is a healing and nurturing time and involves little effort, unless you chop wood and carry water.
I am reading "Lacuna" by Barbara Kigsolver and it is wonderful. A visual masterpiece of which I can not put down. I am half way through and I highly recommend it for anyone who loves visually stimulating novels loosely based on history. If you are a fan of her or Gabriel Garcia Marquez then you will adore this fantastic journey taking place around the end of WW! and into mid 1900's in Mexico and in the United States. Frida Khalo and Diego Rivera included in the epic. I can see this as a movie for sure. Check it out.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Blue Funk...........
Contrary to popular belief I too get the blues, or as my grandma says, the blue funk. I am prone to feeling down in the dumps like everyone else. My positive attitude does sway from time to time and there are dark places where I can travel if allowed. I give myself a day to feel that and that is all. I had one of those days today. It was brightened by a fabulous gift from my Dad-grandfather...........Lawson. He sent gloves which are totally ME and very warm and soft. Not itchy wool or tacky leather. Nice, warm, soft and my sized gloves. It made me smile after a day of the blue funk. It does not happen much but it does happen.
Why? There are many obvious reasons if you know my life. I do overcome much but sometimes there creeps in the grim reaper, even in the best of circumstances. He does not know me or my thoughts and yet he finds me in the most challenging of times and the best of times. The sadness for the planet, our troops, the poor and disengaged, their families, my family, friends and foes, Doug's health, my health, work, business, being separated from loved ones etc. Knowing Douglas has to go back down south to work during the cold of Michigan winter and so many other reasons which really are not of major importance in the grand scheme of things, yet I too am human. My woes are few yet I feel so much.Perhaps an empathetic(pathetic) soul.
My impetus for writing this is not to grovel for pity or gain blessings..........it is to let those of you who do face great sorrow at times to know that I too feel the same. We all have these moments which are unexpected. Sometimes there are real reasons and other times we just get sad. That is the paradox of human nature. Good/evil....sad/happy...rich/wealthy and so on..........It does not end. I encourage myself to feel it all and I share what I feel. Thanks for listening.
Why? There are many obvious reasons if you know my life. I do overcome much but sometimes there creeps in the grim reaper, even in the best of circumstances. He does not know me or my thoughts and yet he finds me in the most challenging of times and the best of times. The sadness for the planet, our troops, the poor and disengaged, their families, my family, friends and foes, Doug's health, my health, work, business, being separated from loved ones etc. Knowing Douglas has to go back down south to work during the cold of Michigan winter and so many other reasons which really are not of major importance in the grand scheme of things, yet I too am human. My woes are few yet I feel so much.Perhaps an empathetic(pathetic) soul.
My impetus for writing this is not to grovel for pity or gain blessings..........it is to let those of you who do face great sorrow at times to know that I too feel the same. We all have these moments which are unexpected. Sometimes there are real reasons and other times we just get sad. That is the paradox of human nature. Good/evil....sad/happy...rich/wealthy and so on..........It does not end. I encourage myself to feel it all and I share what I feel. Thanks for listening.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Laziness November 29th
Now I am not prone to laziness although I have nothing against it either. I feel the same way about laziness one might feel about toast and jam; it is fine to eat but nothing to get excited or discouraged about or as Cost Rican's might say "Maso Menos", loosely translated to "so so". It is fine to be lazy if one is tired, sick, unmotivated, worked hard all week and deserves a rest or just for the sake of doing nothing. Some might argue that point as I have close family-friends who feel they are useless if they are not doing something "productive" every single moment. My husband being one of those creatures. He says he is inherently lazy and fights the urge to nap. Ha!. I have never known him to be a slouch or rest on his laurels. In fact, is always working either physically, mentally, on the computer, bouncing ideas off me the Muse, sitting with a note pad in hand or waving his hands in the air and staring into the ether's slightly rambling silent words of mind talk like I would think of Einstein at times of genius....it is a strange friend with whom he talks. It drives him every minute of every day. The drive to be productive stems from financial struggles of past and often present. When you own your own business and you are the only employee it all falls heavy on the shoulders of one. It is a weight to bear and he carries it well. That is until his back gives out or his head-sinuses explode from all the weight he is carrying and the heavy thinking. I gave him two full days off, forced by me, accepted(partially) by him. I have to force him to stop. "But there is so much to do before I go to Tennessee" he says...or wherever the next project may be. In this case Tenn. I hear these words and I wonder to myself "how can he keep it all going on just a few hours of sleep per night?". Which brings me to laziness. Somehow deep in the recesses of our minds we remember our parents telling us that "Idle hands are the devils workshop" and other sayings which never made much sense. I think the guilt was carried over from our WWII surviving parents and/or grandparents who lived through the great depression, and I am not talking about the last administration or the current state of affairs.......but those who truly waited in bread lines for hours to feed a family of ten. They instilled a work ethic with which I agree whole hardheartedly until it causes illness and stress.
I learned the hard way. The body needs rest. There is a fine balance of rest, fun and work. Then there is time for which no title can be given and that is the time we spend with our loved ones, pets, nature or ourselves in a quiet setting, away from noise, work, computers, I-Pods, cell phones, Wi's,blackberry's, radio, TV and all that modern high tech gadgetry which demands most of our attention. What is ironic is that if used properly it could free one to spend more time being lazy or quite. This is our modern dilemma: The fine balance between tech toys, work, play and rest.The tech stuff if used correctly can allow for more of the RR time we so lack in our society. It can offer a chance to eat a meal together with out standing in the kitchen shoveling junk food in our face as a replacement for dinner.That is one thing we DO ensure: we always eat meals sitting together at the dining table, even of there is a note pad present. (I too keep one close by 24 hours a day).
During surgery healing I spend most of my time reclined with book, TV, phone, writing or napping. I know my body wants to heal and if I do not head it's calling I will risk way too much(a hip for starters). I find it easy to lounge with my hot pad. The voices in my head occasionally tell me I should be doing this or that but then I get up on my walker and wonder about a few minutes only to realize I just need to be still, take a siesta or three, read another chapter of "Lacuna", write on my blog and stir the soup I made from scratch after making turkey salad with leftovers, washed the dishes, put leftovers in a container for Dadio's dinner tomorrow night, made breakfast and cleaned out the fridge. Wow those two hours flew by. I can justify my laziness. I hope my true love can learn to justify his once in a blue moon. Oh.......I have a cold too. "bless me". Time to go relax. "Manana"
I learned the hard way. The body needs rest. There is a fine balance of rest, fun and work. Then there is time for which no title can be given and that is the time we spend with our loved ones, pets, nature or ourselves in a quiet setting, away from noise, work, computers, I-Pods, cell phones, Wi's,blackberry's, radio, TV and all that modern high tech gadgetry which demands most of our attention. What is ironic is that if used properly it could free one to spend more time being lazy or quite. This is our modern dilemma: The fine balance between tech toys, work, play and rest.The tech stuff if used correctly can allow for more of the RR time we so lack in our society. It can offer a chance to eat a meal together with out standing in the kitchen shoveling junk food in our face as a replacement for dinner.That is one thing we DO ensure: we always eat meals sitting together at the dining table, even of there is a note pad present. (I too keep one close by 24 hours a day).
During surgery healing I spend most of my time reclined with book, TV, phone, writing or napping. I know my body wants to heal and if I do not head it's calling I will risk way too much(a hip for starters). I find it easy to lounge with my hot pad. The voices in my head occasionally tell me I should be doing this or that but then I get up on my walker and wonder about a few minutes only to realize I just need to be still, take a siesta or three, read another chapter of "Lacuna", write on my blog and stir the soup I made from scratch after making turkey salad with leftovers, washed the dishes, put leftovers in a container for Dadio's dinner tomorrow night, made breakfast and cleaned out the fridge. Wow those two hours flew by. I can justify my laziness. I hope my true love can learn to justify his once in a blue moon. Oh.......I have a cold too. "bless me". Time to go relax. "Manana"
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
"Disability My Ass"
http://www.cafepress.com/coolpositive.330295961
Have fun with this and laugh......it's a good way to cope !!!!!
Have fun with this and laugh......it's a good way to cope !!!!!
Gratefulness and lupus and Thanksgiving
Wow !! I just received the best news today. My nurse Claudia called and said my last labs were perfect !!! I am not on Cell-Cept or anything for lupus. I am only on the minimal steroids for what my adrenals should be making and blood pressure-kidney meds. The rest is supplemental-natural except for sleeping aide when I need for pain or discomfort. This is huge. I am not on immunosuppressives anymore and I am doing great!!! This does not mean remission. I still have a positive Anti-DSDNA test but it is lower than it has been since March from 21 to 13(?) I think that's what she said and some minor symptoms and fatigue.
I was having a moment when she called and a bit pre-occupied with my own "stuff". We all have our moments. It is one of those things we humans have to deal with that animals and plants seemingly are free from......"Human Drama". I got my feelings hurt today and that is all I have to say. It was great to hear Claudia's wise voice telling me my tests came back fabulous !!! Now I can just focus on healing bones and joints with out worrying about kidneys and lupus. I also smelled my mom again today and that is always a good sign.
So Douglas and I got some of the prep complete for tomorrows meal. Dad has the pies and turkey and we roasted chestnuts(yummo),made cranberry-orange sauce,prepped the veggies for the dressing, cooked cornbread and bread for dressing,prepped the mustard green-white bean salad,(picked the greens this am) and managed to have a lamb curry stew to boot from the farmers market. Not bad for a crip. Doug moved furniture and we are ready for the event. Doug's mom sent a lovely flower arrangement which smells so good! and is beautiful. Wish we could have all our family together. Looks like we will be 6 in total. Nina is coming over for breakfast only and the rest of the Gross family will be here around 1:00 for 2 pm dinner.
May you all have good news to share and blessings to count. Much love.........Angela
I was having a moment when she called and a bit pre-occupied with my own "stuff". We all have our moments. It is one of those things we humans have to deal with that animals and plants seemingly are free from......"Human Drama". I got my feelings hurt today and that is all I have to say. It was great to hear Claudia's wise voice telling me my tests came back fabulous !!! Now I can just focus on healing bones and joints with out worrying about kidneys and lupus. I also smelled my mom again today and that is always a good sign.
So Douglas and I got some of the prep complete for tomorrows meal. Dad has the pies and turkey and we roasted chestnuts(yummo),made cranberry-orange sauce,prepped the veggies for the dressing, cooked cornbread and bread for dressing,prepped the mustard green-white bean salad,(picked the greens this am) and managed to have a lamb curry stew to boot from the farmers market. Not bad for a crip. Doug moved furniture and we are ready for the event. Doug's mom sent a lovely flower arrangement which smells so good! and is beautiful. Wish we could have all our family together. Looks like we will be 6 in total. Nina is coming over for breakfast only and the rest of the Gross family will be here around 1:00 for 2 pm dinner.
May you all have good news to share and blessings to count. Much love.........Angela
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
thankfulness
"You should be thankful for everything at all times. Realize that all power to think, and speak, and act comes from God, and that He is with you now, guiding and inspiring you."
Paramahansa Yogananda
Well said !!! Have you ever read "Autobiography of a Yogi"?. Good read. My friend Karin sent this quote to me. She is one of my "sisters" and always has wonderful quotes and heartfelt things to say. I am grateful for my sister friends.
I had a great PT session today. My muscles are starting to come back slowly.it takes a lot out of me but in another week or so I think I will turn a corner. No driving yet darn it. Slow steps and patience is what I need now.
Hope all is well with everyone !!!!
Paramahansa Yogananda
Well said !!! Have you ever read "Autobiography of a Yogi"?. Good read. My friend Karin sent this quote to me. She is one of my "sisters" and always has wonderful quotes and heartfelt things to say. I am grateful for my sister friends.
I had a great PT session today. My muscles are starting to come back slowly.it takes a lot out of me but in another week or so I think I will turn a corner. No driving yet darn it. Slow steps and patience is what I need now.
Hope all is well with everyone !!!!
Monday, November 23, 2009
"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit".
Emmanuel Teney
My friend Susan sent this. Appropriate response to the last posting. That says it all. Now I get a great massage from my friend Renee and energy work. She is so awesome to come here and rub me down. I am very lucky indeed. Hopefully we will find some good green for her in the garden. Just when I think the garden is done it surprises me with more lettuce, greens and radicchio. Always fresh herbs too ! Even flowers are still blooming including one indoor plant my sister gave me which was my moms favorite scent,Patchouli. It is blooming !!! my brother, sister and I have been dreaming of our mom, Donna.Actually she is my grandmother but raised me after my mom, Pam, died of complications resulting form Lupus Nephritis. Donna raised me as her own.Both grandmothers did. She has been in our dreams laughing. I feel her and my mom hanging around. Their love that is. Interesting.
Emmanuel Teney
My friend Susan sent this. Appropriate response to the last posting. That says it all. Now I get a great massage from my friend Renee and energy work. She is so awesome to come here and rub me down. I am very lucky indeed. Hopefully we will find some good green for her in the garden. Just when I think the garden is done it surprises me with more lettuce, greens and radicchio. Always fresh herbs too ! Even flowers are still blooming including one indoor plant my sister gave me which was my moms favorite scent,Patchouli. It is blooming !!! my brother, sister and I have been dreaming of our mom, Donna.Actually she is my grandmother but raised me after my mom, Pam, died of complications resulting form Lupus Nephritis. Donna raised me as her own.Both grandmothers did. She has been in our dreams laughing. I feel her and my mom hanging around. Their love that is. Interesting.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
On Faith............Beyond Hope..........
First let me get through the health update. I am still not 100%, but feel ten times better than I did the past week. I actually did not realize how bad I felt until I was able to finally collapse Thursday eve to present. I purged last night and it felt great. Whatever was in my system seems to be gone for the most part. Low grade fever still persists but I feel human. I even made dinner last night, baked bread and cooked breakfast this morning, which is usually Douglas' Sunday morning thing. I did not eat all my food but it is staying in. I know I did not have the flu but it seemed I had something inside me that my body wanted to Flush OUT...literally. My Dr. and I agree it could have been leftover from Hospital stay during surgery. Half lives of medications mixed with the pain , new parts and chemicals placed into body and constipation will do weird things to a fragile body.
So "On Faith".......Douglas and I had a great conversation this morning that really hit home for us both. Not going into all the details but we realized that faith is beyond hope. Faith is belief under all circumstances, knowing, total trust, complete confidence that all is as it should be and all is OK. Financial burdens or health issues always seem to work out one way or anther and I "Know" this to be true. We are always taken care of. Douglas needed to hear this from me.I needed to speak it.We had spent so many years building a business in Asheville(struggling)while dealing with health challenges and set backs,then moved back to Michigan with no debt, money in the bank and a "hope" that he would build his business here and thrive........"Not" ! The economy tanked, he continued commuting to Asheville for work, all our savings went into house equity (which we have lost much of) and my health took a major shift for the worse only months after we moved into our home.We have questioned our faith and decision to move or at least to move here to Michigan during such challenging times, yet I had no choice medically and now I know we made the right decision based on faith. UM hospital and my Dr. could offer me the best care during a rough 4 years. Had I been in Asheville I doubt I would be writing these words.It would be a different story. I have a team of medical professionals that is the best for my condition. I have family-friends in Michigan who have known me from birth, who are close by and are old pros at helping out and caring for us during long flares and hospital stays.I have to add; our friends in Asheville and family in the south was-is still amazing and supportive beyond belief!!! They just don't live right down the road like they do here, but I wish they were! I fear that after 18 years in Asheville I may have burned out a few caregivers, especially my closest-dearest friends. Even I know when it is time to ask others to step up while weary friends can get a break, whether they think that or not, I felt it.
The point is that Doug and I have been challenged and had to overcome many obstacles in order to survive.We could not have done it with out our faith,friends and family. They always show up! We are grateful and blessed. We talked about hope and prayer. Now we see that "faith" is "beyond hope" and we have moved into total faith and intention. Our intention to live a joy-filled life together with gratitude has always been our plan, yet to speak the words and feel their power is amazing. I saw in my meditation Jesus in a white light protecting us and telling me all is well. "Now that is faith based on intention": To make a decision to truly trust and believe,then put into action our faith. So it is.The rest is just our story unfolding daily. Glad you are here for the ride. Be well.
So "On Faith".......Douglas and I had a great conversation this morning that really hit home for us both. Not going into all the details but we realized that faith is beyond hope. Faith is belief under all circumstances, knowing, total trust, complete confidence that all is as it should be and all is OK. Financial burdens or health issues always seem to work out one way or anther and I "Know" this to be true. We are always taken care of. Douglas needed to hear this from me.I needed to speak it.We had spent so many years building a business in Asheville(struggling)while dealing with health challenges and set backs,then moved back to Michigan with no debt, money in the bank and a "hope" that he would build his business here and thrive........"Not" ! The economy tanked, he continued commuting to Asheville for work, all our savings went into house equity (which we have lost much of) and my health took a major shift for the worse only months after we moved into our home.We have questioned our faith and decision to move or at least to move here to Michigan during such challenging times, yet I had no choice medically and now I know we made the right decision based on faith. UM hospital and my Dr. could offer me the best care during a rough 4 years. Had I been in Asheville I doubt I would be writing these words.It would be a different story. I have a team of medical professionals that is the best for my condition. I have family-friends in Michigan who have known me from birth, who are close by and are old pros at helping out and caring for us during long flares and hospital stays.I have to add; our friends in Asheville and family in the south was-is still amazing and supportive beyond belief!!! They just don't live right down the road like they do here, but I wish they were! I fear that after 18 years in Asheville I may have burned out a few caregivers, especially my closest-dearest friends. Even I know when it is time to ask others to step up while weary friends can get a break, whether they think that or not, I felt it.
The point is that Doug and I have been challenged and had to overcome many obstacles in order to survive.We could not have done it with out our faith,friends and family. They always show up! We are grateful and blessed. We talked about hope and prayer. Now we see that "faith" is "beyond hope" and we have moved into total faith and intention. Our intention to live a joy-filled life together with gratitude has always been our plan, yet to speak the words and feel their power is amazing. I saw in my meditation Jesus in a white light protecting us and telling me all is well. "Now that is faith based on intention": To make a decision to truly trust and believe,then put into action our faith. So it is.The rest is just our story unfolding daily. Glad you are here for the ride. Be well.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Last lupus class for season..............
Last night was really interesting. Our nurse Claudia has co-authored a book for stress management targeted for UM hospital staff, but she shared some insights with us last night which she learned while researching and practicing stress management techniques. She also went into the history of stress and the many facets(physiological,mental,emotional,hormonal and perceived). I think this class should be in every session and maybe allow more time for it.If we can learn to manage our stress and understand the mechanics behind it, we will have more power controlling and releasing it in positive ways thus reducing flares and illness. She also had an interesting daily practice we enjoyed called the "Gratefulness Practice". Every morning when you wake up take your hand and look at it paying attention at first to your thumb and ask yourself what you are grateful for and really feel the gratitude. Then focus attention on your index finger while thinking about all the people you judge or "point your finger at" and send them gratitude and hold them in light or pray for them. Next move to middle finger and pray or hold in light your leaders. Move on to the ring finger and turn your attention to the individuals you choose to pray for. Hold them in light and good intention. Lastly look at your pinky and focus on giving yourself the same light, love, gratitude and prayer. Is that not an easy way to cover all bases? In this way you start off feeling grateful and positive and with loving kindness in your heart.
Many did not show up because they were sick. I knew that might be the case with the flu running rampant. To all of you who are sick............get better soon !!!
My rash is almost 100% gone. It flared a little last night but now I have a low grade fever. So I will keep an eye on that. I never get fevers but when I do they stink. Low grade I can handle. My temp runs around 97.4 so 99.3 seems high to my body but good to feel warm because it is still damp and cool. I am resting this weekend so we are ready for Thanksgiving. PT went well too and I can surely feel it. I like to go and always feel I have accomplished something. My life has been so sedentary it is great to move energy and build muscles. After a few weeks I work on cardio. I love my PTs Claudia and Carol, both fabulous and understand lupus and all I have going on.It is rare !!!They are angels.
Many did not show up because they were sick. I knew that might be the case with the flu running rampant. To all of you who are sick............get better soon !!!
My rash is almost 100% gone. It flared a little last night but now I have a low grade fever. So I will keep an eye on that. I never get fevers but when I do they stink. Low grade I can handle. My temp runs around 97.4 so 99.3 seems high to my body but good to feel warm because it is still damp and cool. I am resting this weekend so we are ready for Thanksgiving. PT went well too and I can surely feel it. I like to go and always feel I have accomplished something. My life has been so sedentary it is great to move energy and build muscles. After a few weeks I work on cardio. I love my PTs Claudia and Carol, both fabulous and understand lupus and all I have going on.It is rare !!!They are angels.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Rash seems to be going away or is masked by meds?
The full body armor of hives is gone and no more allergic reaction at this time. I did get a slight fever yesterday but it went with the rash. The only thing I can think of is we ate some fish that could have been tainted with something? Or who knows what. I looked like a huge red dot and itched like crazy. I slept all day yesterday or watched TV and rested.
I can not complain because so many have the flu. Two people have said they can not make the lupus program tonight, including the co-facilitator. Sad too because it is our last meeting and nurse Ogden is doing a session on de-stressing over holiday season. I was hoping everyone could attend. I have some snacks to take and one of the patients mom's is bringing beverages. I have ordered some sweet and savory snacks from "Stars Cafe"(if you have not been do try it..in west gate center Jackson rd.). It is a local Middle Eastern restaurant down the street that makes the best meat and spinach pies and pastry. So everyone will be rewarded for coming out in the damp cold and driving so far for this course and all the past 5 courses thus far. Dale and I were going to cook food but with my day at hospital yesterday and her with flu we had to think on our feet. Back up plans and being prepared has always been good for me. I always have a back up plan.
By the way......Thank You Angel who sent the surprise check. You have assisted me in perusing my passion for being of service and helping others while doing good for myself. Thank you so much whoever you are. Angels come in all packages !!!!
I can not complain because so many have the flu. Two people have said they can not make the lupus program tonight, including the co-facilitator. Sad too because it is our last meeting and nurse Ogden is doing a session on de-stressing over holiday season. I was hoping everyone could attend. I have some snacks to take and one of the patients mom's is bringing beverages. I have ordered some sweet and savory snacks from "Stars Cafe"(if you have not been do try it..in west gate center Jackson rd.). It is a local Middle Eastern restaurant down the street that makes the best meat and spinach pies and pastry. So everyone will be rewarded for coming out in the damp cold and driving so far for this course and all the past 5 courses thus far. Dale and I were going to cook food but with my day at hospital yesterday and her with flu we had to think on our feet. Back up plans and being prepared has always been good for me. I always have a back up plan.
By the way......Thank You Angel who sent the surprise check. You have assisted me in perusing my passion for being of service and helping others while doing good for myself. Thank you so much whoever you are. Angels come in all packages !!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
An unexpected trip to the Dr.'s-hosiptal
Well just when I feel great something comes along. It is a minor blip on the radar screen. yesterday am I awoke with a horrible-itchy rash. I had been feeling extremely fatigued, ached and had a sore throat with a dry cough but no fever etc. I wondered if i ate something but I could not put my finger on anything unusual in my diet or routine. So after PT it kind of went away. I had taken benodryl and thought it was leaving my system. Then I took a 3 hour nap and awoke still very tired but the rash was still slight. We had a power outage form noon till 9 pm so I did not look in the mirror until I awoke at 4 am itching and found huge hives all over my body. I took two more benodryl and went back to sleep. Then at 8 am I looked in the mirror and it was much worse. It even had a strange pattern like I was scrathec in some areas or there is a straight line of rash in one area and just a patch of hives on another. Weird right? Then I started feeling worse and called Dr who said come in right away. He looked at it and ran a bunch of labs and took urine but truly we still have no idea what I am having an allergic reaction to. I thought it could be shingles but he did not seem to think that. If it is something I have been taking and just created and antibody to then it could cause this or the thought occurred I could be allergic to the bone graft material they put in hip??? No answers and I have a slight fever. I will remain resting so I can make it to therapy in am and our last education-support program is tomorrow eve, I have food to take and want to be there !!!! More benodryl is all he said to do and wait to see what happens.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Miracles do happen
I have to share something that happened which made me feel optimistic about human kind and the collective good. I recently received, with gratitude, a notice via email that someone wanted to give me gift of money anonymously through a notable and legit organization called "Giving Anonymously". They have been on TV news shows and received great press so far. I checked them out and they are legit. Started by a couple in Bellingham, Washington, an idea was born to give people money, when in need or just because, but with out them knowing who gave it. There might be a person in your community struggling or a woman who wants to start a business to support her children etc. This couple had given a gift to someone in this way and they saw the good that came of it and formed this organization. It is not for profit. Anyone can use their secret gifting service. I was skeptical but I emailed back saying "Yes"! they could send me the check. A week later I got a check from them for X amount(secret) in a hand addressed-stamped envelope with their logo. It is a real check. They ask me to call an 800 number to confirm I got it and to leave a Thank You message for the gifter. I did so. I still have no clue who or why I got this gift but it was extremely generous and all in good timing. Thank you whoever you are from the bottom of my heart.
The story does not end here. I decided I would use half of the money for my needs, bills etc. and will donate the other half. I have two organizations I like to give to. I will donate in honor of my nieces and nephews(Doug and I have a ton) for their Christmas presents because they have too much stuff and I like to instill "giving or tithing" into their holiday tradition. I was not going to be able to anything for them this year. I already made all my adult gifts from the garden herb infused(vinegars,vodka,oils,chutney etc). So that gift took care of holiday giving for me and also will go to The Heifer Foundation and Dr.'s Without Borders. You can check them out on the web. I always give to Heifer as you can really do something with just $10.00. They help families, especially women, in impoverished circumstances, in America and all over the world, to start a home grown agri-business by purchasing livestock for them to use to sell eggs, yarn, milk, cheese, yogurt etc. and when they get baby animals they are supposed to donate a pair to another family in the same situation, thus paying it forward. In this way they feed their families and support neighbors. This raises the entire community economically and personally. "Teach a man to fish he will eat forever".
I am not done yet........I challenge each of you to send Heifer or any organization which "pays it forward" $10.00 dollars. I want you to email and post where you gave. You don't have to give your name but my goal is to inspire the true meaning of this holiday season and in return help people learn how to feed themselves, educate their children, receive medical care etc. Please join me is this. Donate in honor of someone you love. Let's see if we can generate $500.00 in donations by the end of the year. Maybe your company matches donations? Ask them. If you can only give $5.00 that is great too or if you can give $1,000 it is wonderful. Do it for goodness sake. I challenge you.
I had my first field trip outing with my girlfriends yesterday. My dear friend Mary M. had a few of us over for brunch. Kitty picked me up and Douglas came back for me 3 hours later. We ate tasty food, drank a bloody mary and mimosa and laughed, cried and enjoyed a cool day in a warm home filled with love. Three of us recovering from surgery and needed to get get out and about. Thank you Mary for hostessing. I came home and slept two hours. Wearing the brace for three hours while sitting invited a pain pill but now I feel great pain wise. Just wait until PT starts in am. Ouchy!!!!
My nephew-niece in law and soon to be baby boy are doing great at home. She has not birthed yet which is good. Also we are going to spend T-Day with grandma Gross if she feels good that day. Dad is planning to take her to Popa's memorial early in the day and we will take food or he will bring her here. Just need to be with her and family. The Gross; family is very small at this point and it is rare we are all together. We will miss out other family and friends but it feels right.
On Pain.......People ask me how much pain I am in and so forth. my answer is this:" It does hurt and it was an intense surgery. my body needs months to fully recover and heal. I rarely need to take anything but when I do I take the meds so I can stay active and move forward. Night time is rough still.Too many pillows to prop me up, ankle booties to protect heels,have to get up a move due to stiffness and legs cramping and my body aches in other areas so there is that. I do what I can to get comfy and I sleep very deep. I am very tired all the time and fall asleep while ready or watching TV. I know this is when the body heals the most. At times I feel I could stay in bed all day but my body has to move and stretch.So all the healing is in prefect timing. One month from today I was under the knife, body contorted and moved into positions which seem impossible. I still find strange bruises. The tenderness is all there but I can feel it getting better. When the pain gets to level 5 I tale my meds and lay on hot pad. Then I go into coma sleep. Whine!!!
The story does not end here. I decided I would use half of the money for my needs, bills etc. and will donate the other half. I have two organizations I like to give to. I will donate in honor of my nieces and nephews(Doug and I have a ton) for their Christmas presents because they have too much stuff and I like to instill "giving or tithing" into their holiday tradition. I was not going to be able to anything for them this year. I already made all my adult gifts from the garden herb infused(vinegars,vodka,oils,chutney etc). So that gift took care of holiday giving for me and also will go to The Heifer Foundation and Dr.'s Without Borders. You can check them out on the web. I always give to Heifer as you can really do something with just $10.00. They help families, especially women, in impoverished circumstances, in America and all over the world, to start a home grown agri-business by purchasing livestock for them to use to sell eggs, yarn, milk, cheese, yogurt etc. and when they get baby animals they are supposed to donate a pair to another family in the same situation, thus paying it forward. In this way they feed their families and support neighbors. This raises the entire community economically and personally. "Teach a man to fish he will eat forever".
I am not done yet........I challenge each of you to send Heifer or any organization which "pays it forward" $10.00 dollars. I want you to email and post where you gave. You don't have to give your name but my goal is to inspire the true meaning of this holiday season and in return help people learn how to feed themselves, educate their children, receive medical care etc. Please join me is this. Donate in honor of someone you love. Let's see if we can generate $500.00 in donations by the end of the year. Maybe your company matches donations? Ask them. If you can only give $5.00 that is great too or if you can give $1,000 it is wonderful. Do it for goodness sake. I challenge you.
I had my first field trip outing with my girlfriends yesterday. My dear friend Mary M. had a few of us over for brunch. Kitty picked me up and Douglas came back for me 3 hours later. We ate tasty food, drank a bloody mary and mimosa and laughed, cried and enjoyed a cool day in a warm home filled with love. Three of us recovering from surgery and needed to get get out and about. Thank you Mary for hostessing. I came home and slept two hours. Wearing the brace for three hours while sitting invited a pain pill but now I feel great pain wise. Just wait until PT starts in am. Ouchy!!!!
My nephew-niece in law and soon to be baby boy are doing great at home. She has not birthed yet which is good. Also we are going to spend T-Day with grandma Gross if she feels good that day. Dad is planning to take her to Popa's memorial early in the day and we will take food or he will bring her here. Just need to be with her and family. The Gross; family is very small at this point and it is rare we are all together. We will miss out other family and friends but it feels right.
On Pain.......People ask me how much pain I am in and so forth. my answer is this:" It does hurt and it was an intense surgery. my body needs months to fully recover and heal. I rarely need to take anything but when I do I take the meds so I can stay active and move forward. Night time is rough still.Too many pillows to prop me up, ankle booties to protect heels,have to get up a move due to stiffness and legs cramping and my body aches in other areas so there is that. I do what I can to get comfy and I sleep very deep. I am very tired all the time and fall asleep while ready or watching TV. I know this is when the body heals the most. At times I feel I could stay in bed all day but my body has to move and stretch.So all the healing is in prefect timing. One month from today I was under the knife, body contorted and moved into positions which seem impossible. I still find strange bruises. The tenderness is all there but I can feel it getting better. When the pain gets to level 5 I tale my meds and lay on hot pad. Then I go into coma sleep. Whine!!!
Friday, November 13, 2009
My nephew's wife is in labor too early
Pray that my nephew Caleb and his wife Holly can keep the baby inside the womb until Wed. which will be 36 weeks. She is dilated and effaced but the contractions stopped. All second hand info but I just wanted to get us all praying for this little boy to wait a little longer.
We had the best roasted chicken and vegetables last night for dinner with chard and collards from garden. Then for dessert we popped corn and put nutri yeast and seaweed on it and it was fantastic. Orville Redembakers natural white popcorn yummo. I was licking my fingers. I cooked too. I am back in the kitchen and it feels so good. The walker actually comes in handy to carry items from fridge to stove and sink etc.
Happy Friday everyone !!!! For those of you who go to the Lupus education Program do not forget next Thursday is our last one and Dale and I are bringing food. Bring your own beverage. We will probably just have water.
We had the best roasted chicken and vegetables last night for dinner with chard and collards from garden. Then for dessert we popped corn and put nutri yeast and seaweed on it and it was fantastic. Orville Redembakers natural white popcorn yummo. I was licking my fingers. I cooked too. I am back in the kitchen and it feels so good. The walker actually comes in handy to carry items from fridge to stove and sink etc.
Happy Friday everyone !!!! For those of you who go to the Lupus education Program do not forget next Thursday is our last one and Dale and I are bringing food. Bring your own beverage. We will probably just have water.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I'm Free !!!
I am officially free form home nursing which means I can go out for breakfast and grocery shopping with my hubby and I can start PT next week, if they can squeeze me in. My therapists schedule's are booked. I may have to see a new therapist for a week or so. I have six weeks of PT with leg brace and walker.
Today Douglas and I got up not so early, went for breakfast to a diner that has a Mediterranean dish with eggs-spinach-feta-tomato-cucumber and olives "pit in" served with pita and they have very good hash browns and corned beef hash. Cheap too !! So we ate and ran errands, had to give blood for labs(twice a week now). We went to Trader Joes and Meijer's and bought a van load of food staples and some prep for holidays. I think we were gone for 4 hours. I was so happy to be out and about. I wore my mask at the lab and used a ton of anti-bacterial lotion. Do not want to get sick. I forgot how much I love to grocery shop and how patient my hubby can be when I drag him along. He is not a shopper. So all went quite well and I feel like I took one huge step towards freedom. Maybe next week I will attempt to drive? Only after PT tells me I am able.
I want to share a new and very hopeful drug to be on the market soon, we hope, for lupus. It has gone through three trials using humans and is now waiting to see if it can apply with the FDA as an approved treatment specifically for Lupus. It would be the first drug for lupus that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)would approve in 2010—in more than 50 years. Right now only steroids and aspirin(which is rarely used for severe lupus) are approved. Other treatments and medications are used for lupus but not FDA approved specifically for the disease, therefore always considered experimental. Cellcept, Imuram, Plaquenal, anti-inflammatory meds of all sorts and Cytoxan are used to treat the disease, yet are not FDA approved. This creates insurance issues,not to mention they are cytoxic immunosuppresives which create huge risk of infection and long term devastating side effects. To have one future medication targeted at treating lupus is a huge mile stone that I knew I would see before 2112. I have participated in trials of similar medications which did not cut the mustard. This looks very promising. Check this site out....http://www.hgsi.com/latest/human-genome-sciences-and-glaxosmithkline-announce-full-presentation-at-acr-of-positive-phase-3-study-results-for-benlysta-in-systemic-lupus-erythema.html
Enjoy the evening !!!!
Today Douglas and I got up not so early, went for breakfast to a diner that has a Mediterranean dish with eggs-spinach-feta-tomato-cucumber and olives "pit in" served with pita and they have very good hash browns and corned beef hash. Cheap too !! So we ate and ran errands, had to give blood for labs(twice a week now). We went to Trader Joes and Meijer's and bought a van load of food staples and some prep for holidays. I think we were gone for 4 hours. I was so happy to be out and about. I wore my mask at the lab and used a ton of anti-bacterial lotion. Do not want to get sick. I forgot how much I love to grocery shop and how patient my hubby can be when I drag him along. He is not a shopper. So all went quite well and I feel like I took one huge step towards freedom. Maybe next week I will attempt to drive? Only after PT tells me I am able.
I want to share a new and very hopeful drug to be on the market soon, we hope, for lupus. It has gone through three trials using humans and is now waiting to see if it can apply with the FDA as an approved treatment specifically for Lupus. It would be the first drug for lupus that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)would approve in 2010—in more than 50 years. Right now only steroids and aspirin(which is rarely used for severe lupus) are approved. Other treatments and medications are used for lupus but not FDA approved specifically for the disease, therefore always considered experimental. Cellcept, Imuram, Plaquenal, anti-inflammatory meds of all sorts and Cytoxan are used to treat the disease, yet are not FDA approved. This creates insurance issues,not to mention they are cytoxic immunosuppresives which create huge risk of infection and long term devastating side effects. To have one future medication targeted at treating lupus is a huge mile stone that I knew I would see before 2112. I have participated in trials of similar medications which did not cut the mustard. This looks very promising. Check this site out....http://www.hgsi.com/latest/human-genome-sciences-and-glaxosmithkline-announce-full-presentation-at-acr-of-positive-phase-3-study-results-for-benlysta-in-systemic-lupus-erythema.html
Enjoy the evening !!!!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
OK no more chain emails...
I sent out a chain recipe exchange and was understandably told by most that they do not do chains. I normally do not either and usually ask people not to even send to me. BUT I am bored here people. Have some sympathy for the babe who is on lock down. I will not send anymore out but the ones who did respond I want to say Thank You and I have got a few great recipes. I am starting a web page, not up yet, called www.freakinrecipes.com. This should offer a bit of humor to cooking and I am inviting you to send me your favorite recipes with your full name attached so I can give you props. I do not know who knows this, it is no secret, that I have been working on a book. The book is a memoir of sorts, shared experiences and my life with lupus and everything else that inspired me but it also revolves around what else? FOOD-GARDENING. This is a natural. So I invite you to send me your favorite or family recipes and I will make sure you get full credit. Funny stories can go along with too. My loved ones are part of me so it makes sense to have you part of the book. No bad or negative stuff just the good and uplifting with some medical information which may not be comfortable to read but will offer insight as to what us lupies go through just to survive and thrive. It will of course have a section about my mom and her life with lupus and it's early ending and how the unusual childhood, to say the least, shaped me too. Food has always been a big part of that.I hope you participate.
Must go but more later because I have some very good news !!! My friend Renee is here to give me a massage. What an angel.
Must go but more later because I have some very good news !!! My friend Renee is here to give me a massage. What an angel.
Monday, November 9, 2009
On gratitude and appreciation
I had a wonderful conversation with Nina about the difference between gratitude and appreciation. Her view, which makes sense to me, is that gratitude it a feeling of overcoming a negative emotion and arriving at the other side(my words). One has to feel gratitude well up deep inside their soul and is a great feeling to have. All of life's lessons can be seen clearly through the eyes of gratitude. Appreciation, on the other hand, is a state of grace in some ways as one is able to move about the world with a new set of glasses where all of life can be appreciated. I would imagine if we all appreciated the world around us it would naturally be a better place. I aspire to feel that sense of ultimate appreciation for life's challenges equally with it's blessings. Sometimes the biggest challenges become our greatest blessing and if we can appreciate that then we have entered a state of grace for a moment. It is a thought to ponder. True appreciation would be void of judgment. To appreciate is to see and love the beauty of that which is being appreciated. So tell someone who you truly appreciate just how much they mean to you. It will make you both feel great ! I appreciate everyone who reads this blog and I feel gratitude for the ability to write in this way.
found these recipes..My mom's version of lasagna
This is a great meal for fall. It utilizes the abundance of cauliflower and a hearty lasagna which can be prepred easily for a simple yet filling meal. I do cut way back on cheese and use smashed tofu to replace some of the cheese. The bread needs a day to make total but that is mostly time to rise. The actual amount of time you work with the dough is five minutes or so. It is a no-knead bread and oh so tasty. Enjoy!
My Mother's Lasagna…EASY!!! and very different from what we are used to. By Pam Gross
Meat Filling (If you are vegetarian/vegan substitute tofu for cheese and TVP/soysause or veggies for meat)
½ lb. ground sausage
½ ground beef
¾ cup chopped onion
minced garlic clove
1 Tbsp fresh chopped parsley
½ Tbsp each: basil & oregano
1 6-oz. Can tomato paste
Cheese filling
½ cup each: cottage cheese & ricotta cheese
1 egg
¼ cup Parmesan cheese
The rest of the equation
2 cans crescent dinner rolls
sliced or shredded mozzarella cheese
1 Tbsp. milk
1 Tbsp. sesame seeds
1. In a large skillet brown meat, drain. Add remaining meat filling ingredients. Simmer 5 mins.
2. Combine the cheese filling ingredients and set aside.
3. Unroll can of dinner rolls. Lay it out on a baking sheet. Press the seams together so it is one big piece. Spread half of the meat filling down the center leaving a one inch gap from the edge of the dough. Pour cheese filling on top. Then add the remaining meat filling on top of the cheese. Lay the mozzarella on top of the meat filling. Open the second can of rolls and lay it over the top. Again, pinching the seams shut. Pinch the top and bottom dough together to form an enclosed loaf.
4. Brush the top with milk and shake sesame seeds over the top.
5. Bake at 375? oven for 20-25 minutes until golden brown.
Baked Cauliflower:
Pre-heat oven 400 degrees
One head broken into bite size chunks (de-cored)
grease a cookie sheet with canola oil just to cote bottom
Spread out cauliflower and salt-pepper to taste
Sprinkle a Tbs. of oil over top and toss to coat
Bake for 20 minutes turning once or twice
Take out and place in bowl
Add Tbs. fresh lemon juice and Tbs plus capers(small or large) and a tab of butter
Toss well and add more seasonings for your taste and serve hot
The Easiest Bread Recipe
This recipe was from New York Times a while back and has been handed down to me from many hands. I can barely read the copy but the recipe works and it can be amended to add a variety of seasonings and other stuff. I have arthritis and gave up baking bread due to lack of ability to knead. This is a non-knead bread. Anything which is un-needy is good for me.
Mix 3 cups all purpose or half wheat and half white organic flour together in a glass bowl with quarter tsp. active dry yeast and one and quarter tsp. sea salt. Add 1 5/8 cups water and mix until it looks well blended and sticky. Cover with plastic warp and let sit in calm-warm spot for 12-18 hours.
When the surface of dough is bubbly it is ready to gently roll into a ball lightly for a few seconds with extra flour for hands and cover again 15 minutes. Then through flour on a kitchen dish towel (non terry) and roll the dough into your floured hands rolling it into itself forming a ball which will sit on the towel folded end facing down for another 2 hours lightly floured on top and covered with floured towel.
Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees a half hour before baking. Place dough in a well greased casserole dish by gently allowing it to roll off towel into dish. No messing with it will form up when it cooks.
Bake for 30 minutes covered then 20 minutes not covered.
Viola……………Fresh bread. Best left out on wooden cutting board to crust over.
Enjoy....................
My Mother's Lasagna…EASY!!! and very different from what we are used to. By Pam Gross
Meat Filling (If you are vegetarian/vegan substitute tofu for cheese and TVP/soysause or veggies for meat)
½ lb. ground sausage
½ ground beef
¾ cup chopped onion
minced garlic clove
1 Tbsp fresh chopped parsley
½ Tbsp each: basil & oregano
1 6-oz. Can tomato paste
Cheese filling
½ cup each: cottage cheese & ricotta cheese
1 egg
¼ cup Parmesan cheese
The rest of the equation
2 cans crescent dinner rolls
sliced or shredded mozzarella cheese
1 Tbsp. milk
1 Tbsp. sesame seeds
1. In a large skillet brown meat, drain. Add remaining meat filling ingredients. Simmer 5 mins.
2. Combine the cheese filling ingredients and set aside.
3. Unroll can of dinner rolls. Lay it out on a baking sheet. Press the seams together so it is one big piece. Spread half of the meat filling down the center leaving a one inch gap from the edge of the dough. Pour cheese filling on top. Then add the remaining meat filling on top of the cheese. Lay the mozzarella on top of the meat filling. Open the second can of rolls and lay it over the top. Again, pinching the seams shut. Pinch the top and bottom dough together to form an enclosed loaf.
4. Brush the top with milk and shake sesame seeds over the top.
5. Bake at 375? oven for 20-25 minutes until golden brown.
Baked Cauliflower:
Pre-heat oven 400 degrees
One head broken into bite size chunks (de-cored)
grease a cookie sheet with canola oil just to cote bottom
Spread out cauliflower and salt-pepper to taste
Sprinkle a Tbs. of oil over top and toss to coat
Bake for 20 minutes turning once or twice
Take out and place in bowl
Add Tbs. fresh lemon juice and Tbs plus capers(small or large) and a tab of butter
Toss well and add more seasonings for your taste and serve hot
The Easiest Bread Recipe
This recipe was from New York Times a while back and has been handed down to me from many hands. I can barely read the copy but the recipe works and it can be amended to add a variety of seasonings and other stuff. I have arthritis and gave up baking bread due to lack of ability to knead. This is a non-knead bread. Anything which is un-needy is good for me.
Mix 3 cups all purpose or half wheat and half white organic flour together in a glass bowl with quarter tsp. active dry yeast and one and quarter tsp. sea salt. Add 1 5/8 cups water and mix until it looks well blended and sticky. Cover with plastic warp and let sit in calm-warm spot for 12-18 hours.
When the surface of dough is bubbly it is ready to gently roll into a ball lightly for a few seconds with extra flour for hands and cover again 15 minutes. Then through flour on a kitchen dish towel (non terry) and roll the dough into your floured hands rolling it into itself forming a ball which will sit on the towel folded end facing down for another 2 hours lightly floured on top and covered with floured towel.
Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees a half hour before baking. Place dough in a well greased casserole dish by gently allowing it to roll off towel into dish. No messing with it will form up when it cooks.
Bake for 30 minutes covered then 20 minutes not covered.
Viola……………Fresh bread. Best left out on wooden cutting board to crust over.
Enjoy....................
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thinking about the big T-Day. My favorite holiday!
Ideas on meals, food and entertaining……..
As we would love to experience the ability to spend luxurious days and endless evenings growing, raising, nurturing, harvesting and preparing our own meals while looking fabulous and staying fit…………it is an ominous and almost impossible goal for today’s adults, one which I have been blessed to actually attempt yet failed. I spent hours growing, planning, executing and enjoying my own creative recipes for myself, husband and loved ones. I even attempted a few careers in the food industry……….It is great when money, time and energy allow the old world food values on which we were once raised to follow. Those days are few and far between when we actually plan and create nightly and even weekly family meals that do not include fast food or packaged food alternatives to the real deal. Few are the meals we share together with those whom we love. The one connecting bond families and friends once shared is a challenge for even the most culinary geniuses and multi-taskers. I consider myself a good gardener and cook with a knack of bringing people together in a moment of bonding and eating. What is missing is the ability to do it fully……..all parties involved. Thanksgiving is a day devoted to just this, with gratitude.
First we must find a date on the calendar, Thanksgiving, for the chosen group of people to come together, break bread, sip wine and enjoy one others company. Then the menu plan ensues based on what is fresh and in season that week or day in the garden and at market OR food we have "put up' during the growing season. One must be open to adapting recipes when certain foods are not available. Then the right occasion must be matched to the event (holiday, birthday etc) which then sets the theme, location and attire. After invitations are sent and RSVP's received the planning and list making begins. Each person brings one thing to share. There is always one person who is good for store bought flowers, bread, wine or candles which is equally as desired as a dish, yet I love it when each person prepares a specialty of their own. It is fun to taste little bites of many tasty morsels, share recipes and tricks. It is a strong bond we share.
Shopping and budget are the most challenging. Inevitably two or three people will be unable to attend and one person will bring an unexpected guest so I plan for a little extra. "Weather"? I have had dinners postponed for two hours due to heavy rain storms and have given different times to guests, answering the door in my PJ's with a toothbrush hanging out of my mouth. That is when good advanced prep is a blessing. The pre-made platters of appetizers and bowls of olives and nuts are ready to set out with a variety of wine glasses ready for the pick of the guest. Sometimes dog friends enter in a flurry, tails wagging, wet paws spoiling white carpet, but hey, we have to include our furry friends. After all gather usually one hour past the pre set dinner time we begin the line to the kitchen. People grab a chair or stand and chat, of course right in the kitchen where the cook is working while glasses flow with lots of laughs, musical changes and always a sigh when everyone feels full and happily satisfied. On occasion we have been known to experience complete silence. That is a good thing. It is the goal of every home cook and most restaurant chefs; that moment of pure delight and exhalations. I also like having paper and pen available to exchange recipes. When ultimate gastronomic bliss has left us in an altered state and conversation is flowing I can sit back and enjoy watching my husband washing dishes and dishing the dirt after another well planned event pulled off like a pro. Coffee anyone?
As we would love to experience the ability to spend luxurious days and endless evenings growing, raising, nurturing, harvesting and preparing our own meals while looking fabulous and staying fit…………it is an ominous and almost impossible goal for today’s adults, one which I have been blessed to actually attempt yet failed. I spent hours growing, planning, executing and enjoying my own creative recipes for myself, husband and loved ones. I even attempted a few careers in the food industry……….It is great when money, time and energy allow the old world food values on which we were once raised to follow. Those days are few and far between when we actually plan and create nightly and even weekly family meals that do not include fast food or packaged food alternatives to the real deal. Few are the meals we share together with those whom we love. The one connecting bond families and friends once shared is a challenge for even the most culinary geniuses and multi-taskers. I consider myself a good gardener and cook with a knack of bringing people together in a moment of bonding and eating. What is missing is the ability to do it fully……..all parties involved. Thanksgiving is a day devoted to just this, with gratitude.
First we must find a date on the calendar, Thanksgiving, for the chosen group of people to come together, break bread, sip wine and enjoy one others company. Then the menu plan ensues based on what is fresh and in season that week or day in the garden and at market OR food we have "put up' during the growing season. One must be open to adapting recipes when certain foods are not available. Then the right occasion must be matched to the event (holiday, birthday etc) which then sets the theme, location and attire. After invitations are sent and RSVP's received the planning and list making begins. Each person brings one thing to share. There is always one person who is good for store bought flowers, bread, wine or candles which is equally as desired as a dish, yet I love it when each person prepares a specialty of their own. It is fun to taste little bites of many tasty morsels, share recipes and tricks. It is a strong bond we share.
Shopping and budget are the most challenging. Inevitably two or three people will be unable to attend and one person will bring an unexpected guest so I plan for a little extra. "Weather"? I have had dinners postponed for two hours due to heavy rain storms and have given different times to guests, answering the door in my PJ's with a toothbrush hanging out of my mouth. That is when good advanced prep is a blessing. The pre-made platters of appetizers and bowls of olives and nuts are ready to set out with a variety of wine glasses ready for the pick of the guest. Sometimes dog friends enter in a flurry, tails wagging, wet paws spoiling white carpet, but hey, we have to include our furry friends. After all gather usually one hour past the pre set dinner time we begin the line to the kitchen. People grab a chair or stand and chat, of course right in the kitchen where the cook is working while glasses flow with lots of laughs, musical changes and always a sigh when everyone feels full and happily satisfied. On occasion we have been known to experience complete silence. That is a good thing. It is the goal of every home cook and most restaurant chefs; that moment of pure delight and exhalations. I also like having paper and pen available to exchange recipes. When ultimate gastronomic bliss has left us in an altered state and conversation is flowing I can sit back and enjoy watching my husband washing dishes and dishing the dirt after another well planned event pulled off like a pro. Coffee anyone?
Lamb Ragout
Oh My Goodness!!! yes we had a slow and low cooled lamb ragout (Ragu') last night with a jar of heirloom tomato-zucchini sauce I made this summer from our garden and herbs from garden. Cooked a large lamb steak, bone in with marrow, in my clay pot on 250 for 3 hours. Then baked a butternut from garden and mashed it with spices and butter and a tad of maple syrup. Add sauteed broccoli and you have a party in your mouth. Doug said I should write down what I make and create recipes but I cook with intuition and do not write down or measure. It was really good !!!!
Another beautiful day. People out working in the yard. I may have to go for a short walk around the yard(flat areas) just to move energy and get fresh air. I am still in PJ's though. I did not feel so hot this am. Stomach-bowel issues. I think it is calm now but I am taking it easy. The neighbor almost across the street is having his 4th barn sale. How much stuff can one sell. I looked a few weeks ago and it was mostly junk. "One man's junk is another man's treasure". He did have some nice furniture but definitely used. There are many people stopping by and checking it out.
Gotta go dad and Mary just pulled up on the motorcycle. Great day for a ride.
Another beautiful day. People out working in the yard. I may have to go for a short walk around the yard(flat areas) just to move energy and get fresh air. I am still in PJ's though. I did not feel so hot this am. Stomach-bowel issues. I think it is calm now but I am taking it easy. The neighbor almost across the street is having his 4th barn sale. How much stuff can one sell. I looked a few weeks ago and it was mostly junk. "One man's junk is another man's treasure". He did have some nice furniture but definitely used. There are many people stopping by and checking it out.
Gotta go dad and Mary just pulled up on the motorcycle. Great day for a ride.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
60 degrees and sunny?
What a difference a day makes. It is beautiful outside. Doug's doing the last of leaves and I am working in office and cooking. Yes I am cooking. I can get around quite well now in the house and will be free from home nursing and coumadin (blood thinner to avoid clotting after surgery) on Wednesday. Then I am free to be out and about with walker and brace except for protecting myself from the dreaded pandemic. I can not believe how much fear is out there about the flu. The flu has been around for years. Yes people have died in the past and present but the majority of the people infected have a week of feeling weak, nausea, some have diarrhea, body aches and general "sick feeling" but after a week they said they felt fine with ginger ale,Tylenol and chicken soup. So....is it realistic to have people lined up out in the cold rain for five hours, those at highest risk, to get a flu shot? Why does this not make sense? Too many of the people in line are already infected and too many get sick from standing in the cold rain. I will stay home and use all precautions. I am not a candidate for vaccination and would not want it of I could get it. I have never been a fan. Pneumonia or tetanus vac yes. Flu shot NO. Especially live virus. Even my Dr.'s say only do non live virus. Oregano oil can help fight off the H1N1. That is my own personal belief. Too many get sick after the shot and some have died from the shot or at least soon after receiving it. It has not been tested enough in my opinion. I am blessed to have the ability to avoid public. I understand why people who are at risk get it. It is just my own deal.Anything which could challenge or turn on my immune system is not good for me.
Douglas took me for a ride in the car while he ran a few quick errands. It felt good to breath fresh air and see the world outside my bubble. While parked a woman hit the back bumper trying, operative word "Trying", to park. It was two older ladies and she saw me get out of the van to look at the damage. Luckily none found but she had the audacity to wave me away. She sushed me. I just smiled and gave her a thumbs up. She never got out of the car or looked at the possible damage. "Funny people tricks". There is a home UM game today so cars from all over and people driving like maniacs. Ann Arbor is not your regular town when it comes to driving. You can turn left at a one way street during a red light, 4 way stops work great when everyone follows the rules, people do not block driveways or parking lot exits and usually do let drivers into merging traffic, pedestrians always come first and there are many bikers-walkers-runners to be aware of. It is an unspoken language amongst Ann Arborites to drive polite. So we know when there is a game, aside from the flags and UM paraphernalia, by the way people drive. "Go Blue" !!!!
Douglas took me for a ride in the car while he ran a few quick errands. It felt good to breath fresh air and see the world outside my bubble. While parked a woman hit the back bumper trying, operative word "Trying", to park. It was two older ladies and she saw me get out of the van to look at the damage. Luckily none found but she had the audacity to wave me away. She sushed me. I just smiled and gave her a thumbs up. She never got out of the car or looked at the possible damage. "Funny people tricks". There is a home UM game today so cars from all over and people driving like maniacs. Ann Arbor is not your regular town when it comes to driving. You can turn left at a one way street during a red light, 4 way stops work great when everyone follows the rules, people do not block driveways or parking lot exits and usually do let drivers into merging traffic, pedestrians always come first and there are many bikers-walkers-runners to be aware of. It is an unspoken language amongst Ann Arborites to drive polite. So we know when there is a game, aside from the flags and UM paraphernalia, by the way people drive. "Go Blue" !!!!
Friday, November 6, 2009
You have to be a rocket scientist...............
You have to be a rocket scientist to figure out the new Blue Cross Blue Shield part D and Prescription blue plan "explanation of benefits" 2010 booklets for those of us on Medicare. How do elderly people read the small print in two volumes of booklets understand what it is saying and for what they are paying? It is so darn confusing. I am in the medical arena and I have a hard time. Then try to get a person on the phone to explain.....ha! That is a whole other issue. It should not be so difficult. We should be able to understand the rules and regulations of our policies and what exactly we are signing up for in a way a normal human brain can decipher with out a magnifying glass. I know many elderly folks who never signed up for a supplemental insurance to medicare because they did not understand all the options. So they pay way more than they should for medical care and drugs, and they have no help with their 20% co-pay, which is high for Medicare participants. My medical expenses are so high I could rent a house for what I pay out of pocket. I count ALL medical expenses(vitamins, supplements, natural medicine, body care, the medications my plan will not cover, which the list of uncovered meds grows every year, (most of what I take) and for my co-pays. It adds up. Then I pay the monthly premiums which come to about $300 per month for me for Medicare, supplemental with BCBS and the Drug plan. I am not complaining because I have coverage and I need it. I already had two hip replacements this year alone and a shoulder replacement last year, plus many visits to emergency and a few stays in the hospital for lupus related issues, home nursing, chemo-infusions, antibiotic infusions, and all the Dr.'s and specialists I see. Eyes and dental not covered!! I am blessed and have excellent care. I just wish there was a way for regular people to understand exactly what their options are in a simple way and how much it will cost-save in the long run. Keep in mind there is information and assistance on the internet but many elderly and sick folks do not have access or the energy to spend hours on the computer. Any ideas?
So winter is here for sure now; maybe. Douglas likes the heat(desert rat). I awoke last few mornings to a toasty house. The solar panels were reading 100 today and the outside temp now is around 45-48 degrees. We have not started using the main wood stove yet. Usually we wait until after Thanksgiving but maybe earlier this year.
More leaves fall and almost all are gone and another leaf clearing day will happen next few days. The ground is again covered in yellow maple leaves and we can see through the woods. Just in time for hunting season. I can hear the shooting practice already echoing through the fields and woods surrounding our home.
My friend-neighbor Jennifer came over for a girls evening last night. We sat in the dining-family room as the sun went down with our glass of wine and appetizers. It was great to spend some girlfriend time and to get to know her better. The more I know the more I like, respect and admire. I enjoy growing a friendship. Especially one who lives two houses away. Most of my friends live all over the states and Costa Rica. I have a dream to get them all together one day under one roof. Look out mates..................it could get crazy. The last girls vacation I had was the most relaxing vacation I ever had for 4-5 days at the beach in the fall. It was perfect. Too chilly to swim but warm enough to walk the beach and hang out on the large wrap around porch overlooking the Atlantic on one side and the canal on the other. I have Brigid's artwork to show for that one!!
Healing is really speeding up. I feel better every day and stronger. I am on the up curve. BP a little too high and a tad of a urinary infection probably from the catheter. Always happens when I have a catheter. But my kidney Dr. is on it and gave the sample today. No big deal. I have antibiotics for it. I am so happy with how everything is going thus far. I count the blessings in dozens.
Be well !!! and have a great weekend.
So winter is here for sure now; maybe. Douglas likes the heat(desert rat). I awoke last few mornings to a toasty house. The solar panels were reading 100 today and the outside temp now is around 45-48 degrees. We have not started using the main wood stove yet. Usually we wait until after Thanksgiving but maybe earlier this year.
More leaves fall and almost all are gone and another leaf clearing day will happen next few days. The ground is again covered in yellow maple leaves and we can see through the woods. Just in time for hunting season. I can hear the shooting practice already echoing through the fields and woods surrounding our home.
My friend-neighbor Jennifer came over for a girls evening last night. We sat in the dining-family room as the sun went down with our glass of wine and appetizers. It was great to spend some girlfriend time and to get to know her better. The more I know the more I like, respect and admire. I enjoy growing a friendship. Especially one who lives two houses away. Most of my friends live all over the states and Costa Rica. I have a dream to get them all together one day under one roof. Look out mates..................it could get crazy. The last girls vacation I had was the most relaxing vacation I ever had for 4-5 days at the beach in the fall. It was perfect. Too chilly to swim but warm enough to walk the beach and hang out on the large wrap around porch overlooking the Atlantic on one side and the canal on the other. I have Brigid's artwork to show for that one!!
Healing is really speeding up. I feel better every day and stronger. I am on the up curve. BP a little too high and a tad of a urinary infection probably from the catheter. Always happens when I have a catheter. But my kidney Dr. is on it and gave the sample today. No big deal. I have antibiotics for it. I am so happy with how everything is going thus far. I count the blessings in dozens.
Be well !!! and have a great weekend.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
To fear or not to fear ????
Fear was a topic of conversation for Douglas and I yesterday. I watched an Oprah show (don't laugh) and she had four women "step out of their box" and comfort zone which meant facing their fears. They jumped out of an air plane, skinny dipped in the ocean in public-on camera(nudity shots not shown on TV) and they learned how to roller blade for a day and played a professional roller derby game. After-wards they discussed fear and how it holds us back from the incredibly strong women we know ourselves to be deep down in the depths of our soul. Why do we then stop ourselves cold in our tracks when we are faced with those things we fear? It is something I have thought a lot about in the past.
Fear is a good thing when it protects us from real danger. It is intuition and physiology working hand in hand to wake us up to an impending danger. When we are truly in tune with our inner voice we can use this as a tool to keep ourselves safe and sound. When we allow our inner voice to be quieted or we numb ourselves and this voice does not come through. Anxiety takes it's place. Then anxiety turns into a neurotic tendency we fill ourselves with because we lost touch with our intuition. At this point fear takes over in ways that are unreasonable.
This unreasonable fear is of what I speak. This stops us form living life to it's fullest. I asked myself what my greatest fear is. The only thing I could come up with is fear of something happening to Douglas or someone I love. I have faced my fears up to this point. I naturally feel fear when I am getting ready to step on a copper head, find myself lost in downtown Detroit in an area I should not be or I am swimming in the ocean and a shark appears. But the fear of heights, flying, swimming in dark lakes, sleeping in the jungle, the dark, going alone for a moonlight walk or kayak ride, hand gliding,traveling alone, getting sick, surgery, riding fast motorcycles, skinny dipping or any fear one may have has been pretty much erased. Now I do get fearful in the car if I am not driving and there seems to be an crazy driver or the road conditions are bad...........so I guess I do have a fear of car accidents, but it is all I can think of at the moment. Maybe all I have gone through with lupus and as a kid with a sick mom and spending so much time alone I have learned to be a warrior. Always a Tom Boy and daredevil. Risk taking comes naturally yet now I am more cautious and smarter about the kinds of risks I am willing to take. I have seen too many people get hurt and too many lives ruined by one stupid risk. Especially as I grow older and realize there are others who suffer when one get's hurt while taking a risk. Responsibility is my mantra.
The type of fear which grips people in a deadlock and will not let go is something I encourage everyone to face head on. If it is heights you should get on top of the safest highest point near you and get over it or jump from a plane. If yo afraid of someone seeing your body...go running naked down a beach and laugh the entire time for the nut case you appear to be. Let yourself jump outside your box. Dance the polka, play an accordion on main street, dive into the lake in early fall, sing karaoke in front of strangers, take a small risk................get your freak on and let it shine!!! Then you can have a good belly laugh and know life is supposed to be fun and risks are meant to happen in order for us to grow. Think of Amelia flying her plane across the Atlantic and what a rush that must have been. The first time I went hand gliding I was like a kid riding a bike for the first time. No jitter bugs at all just pure joy and laughter. I had to know I could do it. It was the best gift I ever gave myself. Share with me how you stepped out of your fear zone and what gifts came from the experience.
Oh Renee came over Tuesday and gave me an incredible massage and energy work. I feel so much better. I laid on my stomach for the first time and this sore back side was at ease. She rocks !!! I also sleep now with out the large foam triangle pillow and am sleeping with two pillows strategically placed to support and protect my hip-legs. I can also sleep on side with the pillows between my legs. So flippin fabulous. The simple things make a huge difference.
Fear is a good thing when it protects us from real danger. It is intuition and physiology working hand in hand to wake us up to an impending danger. When we are truly in tune with our inner voice we can use this as a tool to keep ourselves safe and sound. When we allow our inner voice to be quieted or we numb ourselves and this voice does not come through. Anxiety takes it's place. Then anxiety turns into a neurotic tendency we fill ourselves with because we lost touch with our intuition. At this point fear takes over in ways that are unreasonable.
This unreasonable fear is of what I speak. This stops us form living life to it's fullest. I asked myself what my greatest fear is. The only thing I could come up with is fear of something happening to Douglas or someone I love. I have faced my fears up to this point. I naturally feel fear when I am getting ready to step on a copper head, find myself lost in downtown Detroit in an area I should not be or I am swimming in the ocean and a shark appears. But the fear of heights, flying, swimming in dark lakes, sleeping in the jungle, the dark, going alone for a moonlight walk or kayak ride, hand gliding,traveling alone, getting sick, surgery, riding fast motorcycles, skinny dipping or any fear one may have has been pretty much erased. Now I do get fearful in the car if I am not driving and there seems to be an crazy driver or the road conditions are bad...........so I guess I do have a fear of car accidents, but it is all I can think of at the moment. Maybe all I have gone through with lupus and as a kid with a sick mom and spending so much time alone I have learned to be a warrior. Always a Tom Boy and daredevil. Risk taking comes naturally yet now I am more cautious and smarter about the kinds of risks I am willing to take. I have seen too many people get hurt and too many lives ruined by one stupid risk. Especially as I grow older and realize there are others who suffer when one get's hurt while taking a risk. Responsibility is my mantra.
The type of fear which grips people in a deadlock and will not let go is something I encourage everyone to face head on. If it is heights you should get on top of the safest highest point near you and get over it or jump from a plane. If yo afraid of someone seeing your body...go running naked down a beach and laugh the entire time for the nut case you appear to be. Let yourself jump outside your box. Dance the polka, play an accordion on main street, dive into the lake in early fall, sing karaoke in front of strangers, take a small risk................get your freak on and let it shine!!! Then you can have a good belly laugh and know life is supposed to be fun and risks are meant to happen in order for us to grow. Think of Amelia flying her plane across the Atlantic and what a rush that must have been. The first time I went hand gliding I was like a kid riding a bike for the first time. No jitter bugs at all just pure joy and laughter. I had to know I could do it. It was the best gift I ever gave myself. Share with me how you stepped out of your fear zone and what gifts came from the experience.
Oh Renee came over Tuesday and gave me an incredible massage and energy work. I feel so much better. I laid on my stomach for the first time and this sore back side was at ease. She rocks !!! I also sleep now with out the large foam triangle pillow and am sleeping with two pillows strategically placed to support and protect my hip-legs. I can also sleep on side with the pillows between my legs. So flippin fabulous. The simple things make a huge difference.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Surgery was 2 weeks today...WOW
Time flies for sure and in a blue haze too while on these pain meds. I am slowly taking less every day but it hurts more than last one. I think my other joints which are over compensating are hurting more too. I feel very swollen and tight with lots of tender spots. Today the nurse said my blood pressure was high, which it was, as I take it daily and today I peaked too from the pain. I went 8 hours with out pain meds and let it get too intense. Part of me just hates popping pills but I am grateful for them when needed. Itchiness,constipation, foggy brain and all. The upside is I sleep deep for the most part. I have to lie on my back and sleep with a triangle shaped large foam "pillow" between my legs which has straps to strap me in, ensuring I do not move or cross legs or dislocate hip. I don't use the straps. I am not a back sleeper and my heels go numb-ache and ankles swell and hurt really bad. I have to get up several times a night to move and rub the sore spots. I can lay on my good side for a few minutes with the pillow-wedge between my legs and other support pillows. I can not wait to sleep on my side again. OK enough complaining.
A cold front is blowing in and they are calling for snow throughout the week mixed with rain. This happened last November too. We did not get our leaves up due to an unseasonably cold and wet-snowy month. Douglas got most of the leaves up today but there are still 5 maples with leaves. Oh well. We do the best we can. Some just stay over the winter and act as mulch !!
We had a nice visit with the folks yesterday. Mary brought Bee Bim Bop and we chowed down. Dad drove up on his new Harley. Yes I said that right. The Ducati was too uncomfortable and BMW too. He said this is his old man bike and Mary can ride on the back, which she loves to do. His Ducati friends are giving him a hard time. He sold his Triumph too. Now he just has the Rukus, scooter and Harley. I look forward to going on a ride this spring. Maybe a weekend up north? We travel well together and I love to ride. Last summer I would go over and take his Rukus for a ride around their woods but not on the road. The old days of being able to ride by myself are gone but I can be a side rider.
All in all it was a wonderful weekend and I even walked down to the garden with the walker. I was amazed at how much is growing. Not after tonight though. Doug picked a lot of herbs and greens. Time to let it go to the earthworms for winter. I hope you all had a good weekend too!! More later in the week. Nap time.
A cold front is blowing in and they are calling for snow throughout the week mixed with rain. This happened last November too. We did not get our leaves up due to an unseasonably cold and wet-snowy month. Douglas got most of the leaves up today but there are still 5 maples with leaves. Oh well. We do the best we can. Some just stay over the winter and act as mulch !!
We had a nice visit with the folks yesterday. Mary brought Bee Bim Bop and we chowed down. Dad drove up on his new Harley. Yes I said that right. The Ducati was too uncomfortable and BMW too. He said this is his old man bike and Mary can ride on the back, which she loves to do. His Ducati friends are giving him a hard time. He sold his Triumph too. Now he just has the Rukus, scooter and Harley. I look forward to going on a ride this spring. Maybe a weekend up north? We travel well together and I love to ride. Last summer I would go over and take his Rukus for a ride around their woods but not on the road. The old days of being able to ride by myself are gone but I can be a side rider.
All in all it was a wonderful weekend and I even walked down to the garden with the walker. I was amazed at how much is growing. Not after tonight though. Doug picked a lot of herbs and greens. Time to let it go to the earthworms for winter. I hope you all had a good weekend too!! More later in the week. Nap time.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Passing the time
Maybe I am in a time warp but it has been much easier for me this round to be home bound and inactive. I am enjoying reading, napping, doing little odd projects in my office or cleaning out drawers. I am getting caught up on some magazines which I won because my air miles ran out so they sent me magazines instead. I am trying to read a novel but it is going very slow. I think I am looking for the perfect read which is not fiction yet has some interesting storyline. I have to get hooked on a book to finish it. My friend is sending 'Lacuna' by Barbara Kingslover which is supposed to be really good. I also want to read a book dad has(about food) of course, I think it's called "Eating"??. I read the first chapter at the lake before surgery and it was about a true story of a food writer who, on this night, was hanging out with Mario Battali and they go through many pieces of "Lardo"(fat) and a case of wine. Hard core for sure. Fall brings out the cook in me more so than any other season. It is the slow and low aromas which fill the home and heart with anticipation of what is to come melting in my mouth. It's odd coming from a skinny chick but I have put on some weight. It's comfortable although we will keep an eye on that for sure. With little exercise and movement I do not want to get into poor shape. I even try doing a lot of deep breathing throughout day and night. I have one of those breathing aspirators they give you in the hospital which is good. By end of December I plan to be back into PT full throttle. For now the small steps are good. Manga !!!
Mary M. stopped by yesterday and made some wonderful smelling soup I have not eaten yet. She is such a sweetie. I love to see her smiling face. Quite an inspiration to me as so many of you are. Dale especially right now. Douglas and I went to see her Friday and Douglas took her sweet dog "Annie" for a walk while Dale and I compared battle wounds. As I was leaving the hospital two weeks ago she was entering. All is good now. Us warrior woman have to stick together.
Douglas feels good enough now (he has not been feeling too good-sympathy pains he says) to work in the studio with us having walkie talkies. I am stable enough to move about and even took my first shower ALONE last night!!!! Now that is accomplishment and a service to human kind if you get my gist. Then we ate lamb ragu from a local farmer with smashed tators and collards. We watched Bram Stocker's "Dracula". No Halloweeners. The whole street was dark except the reflection of the almost full moon against the foggy sky. The yellow leaves appeared white as if it had snowed. Stunning really. Now most leaves have fallen and our neighbor is cutting and blowing one of our maple tree's leaves back into our yard. It has been raining so too wet to blow.
Doug and Dad are going to Grandma's Tuesday to replace concrete driveway and repair a crack going into the basement. That means cleaning out the basement too and getting all Popa's tools and "stuff" out. They will take what they can use and donate the rest. Popa was a pack rat. No telling what they will find. Grandma too. She keeps sending me old articles and jokes she cut out of the paper 20-30 years ago.
I think she is still wrapping her head around her loss. She is walking down memory lane and still not leaving the house much. I wish there was more we would do but she has to heal on her own time. All I can do is listen.
Today Doug's also going to harvest the garden. It is going to get cold this week so we will take what is left and freeze or give away what we can not eat. My friend Renee may come tomorrow and pick some too and give me some much needed body work. I hope the carrots, beets,turnips and radishes keep growing under straw. We made the kale pesto and that is the ticket for saving kale. It will last 6-8 weeks in fridge with no cheese, or you can freeze. Great on pasta, as a spread or in soup. Dad and Mary are coming for a late lunch early dinner later today with Bell Diner's famous "Bee Bim Bop". So I better get up and do my exercises. Lots of love...............
Mary M. stopped by yesterday and made some wonderful smelling soup I have not eaten yet. She is such a sweetie. I love to see her smiling face. Quite an inspiration to me as so many of you are. Dale especially right now. Douglas and I went to see her Friday and Douglas took her sweet dog "Annie" for a walk while Dale and I compared battle wounds. As I was leaving the hospital two weeks ago she was entering. All is good now. Us warrior woman have to stick together.
Douglas feels good enough now (he has not been feeling too good-sympathy pains he says) to work in the studio with us having walkie talkies. I am stable enough to move about and even took my first shower ALONE last night!!!! Now that is accomplishment and a service to human kind if you get my gist. Then we ate lamb ragu from a local farmer with smashed tators and collards. We watched Bram Stocker's "Dracula". No Halloweeners. The whole street was dark except the reflection of the almost full moon against the foggy sky. The yellow leaves appeared white as if it had snowed. Stunning really. Now most leaves have fallen and our neighbor is cutting and blowing one of our maple tree's leaves back into our yard. It has been raining so too wet to blow.
Doug and Dad are going to Grandma's Tuesday to replace concrete driveway and repair a crack going into the basement. That means cleaning out the basement too and getting all Popa's tools and "stuff" out. They will take what they can use and donate the rest. Popa was a pack rat. No telling what they will find. Grandma too. She keeps sending me old articles and jokes she cut out of the paper 20-30 years ago.
I think she is still wrapping her head around her loss. She is walking down memory lane and still not leaving the house much. I wish there was more we would do but she has to heal on her own time. All I can do is listen.
Today Doug's also going to harvest the garden. It is going to get cold this week so we will take what is left and freeze or give away what we can not eat. My friend Renee may come tomorrow and pick some too and give me some much needed body work. I hope the carrots, beets,turnips and radishes keep growing under straw. We made the kale pesto and that is the ticket for saving kale. It will last 6-8 weeks in fridge with no cheese, or you can freeze. Great on pasta, as a spread or in soup. Dad and Mary are coming for a late lunch early dinner later today with Bell Diner's famous "Bee Bim Bop". So I better get up and do my exercises. Lots of love...............
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Two week post op check up........
I met with my surgeon yesterday. We were there for 3 hours and had X-rays. All looks good, yet it will take many months to know if the bone grafting is working. There was one area where they could not get the grafting material(calcium combo) into which will be a dead hole (around sciatic nerve) but that is OK because it will not affect, hopefully, the strength of the good bone holding the ball and socket in place. But not out of the woods yet. For the next month I am to lay low and use the walker and brace at home with little PT except for the very light range of motion and isometrics I do laying on my bed a few times a day. Everything is very fragile, easily dislocated and the pain is still pretty high, like me. Home nursing will continue to come. In a month I go back for next check up. I have to wear the brace at least 6 more weeks so I can use it as a costume Saturday and scare the kids (Robo Babe). For two months I have to use the walker. I can only put so much weight on the new hip. Lots or restrictions of movement. So I move from sitting (as long as I can) to walking around the house to the guest/TV room bed to the chaise in the dining/family room then to my bed for sleep and naps. All well equipped with reachers, grabbers, pillows to prop me up and all the other stuff I need at hand. It will be like a home hospital until the first of the year. I have to say I was expecting only two weeks of this and then back to PT and my life, but we will do as the Dr. ordered and err on the side of caution so we can make this one work and last. I am asking everyone to visualize the bone growing and the hip back to life with full use. The other replaced and necrotic joints are picking up the slack and they are hurting too, so I am laying low. I am grateful that Douglas is home to care for me even though we could use the money if he was working on a project. He has to stay home with me. I need help with much for next two months and no driving for me.
All in all I have to remain positive and laugh at times. Many times.
Miss Jennifer out did herself again. She made stew for a gathering at her house and dropped off some for dinner Tuesday eve. It was "amazing". When I am better we are having a cooking club !!! Kitty and Steven thank you for the meatloaf and chicken drop off and your visiting Kitty !!! You always make me smile.
We will stay home for holidays, obviously. Very low key !!!!
One of my friends whose name I will not mention is in need of some good vibes. Send healing thoughts out to everyone in need and this will help her heal too.
Be well and enjoy the fall colors while they last.
All in all I have to remain positive and laugh at times. Many times.
Miss Jennifer out did herself again. She made stew for a gathering at her house and dropped off some for dinner Tuesday eve. It was "amazing". When I am better we are having a cooking club !!! Kitty and Steven thank you for the meatloaf and chicken drop off and your visiting Kitty !!! You always make me smile.
We will stay home for holidays, obviously. Very low key !!!!
One of my friends whose name I will not mention is in need of some good vibes. Send healing thoughts out to everyone in need and this will help her heal too.
Be well and enjoy the fall colors while they last.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Recipe from Capella Farm's Momma-Farmer-Cook
Jennifer is my friend-neighbor who is amazing and raises all kinds of animals, 3 very smart and sweet kids, gardens and she, along with her husband Dave, have a CSA farm to boot. They, like us, would like to be self sufficient and make money at farming. They are light years ahead of us so we share secrets and stories and I get to enjoy their fantastic eggs. She sent some pea soup over that was amazing. Here is her recipe she said I could share. In her words:
I cooked 3 - 4 cloves of whole garlic, 2 or 3 small onions, a bunch (maybe 6) carrot tops, fresh pork bone (the left over from a pork shoulder that I had cut the chops off of), 2 smoked shanks, and 2 bay leaves (fresh off the plant). I probably cooked this for 3 - 4 hours (in about 3 or 4 gallons of water?) after that, I strain all through colander, retain all the broth and bay leaves, and scavenge as much meat as possible. I eat the grizzle (maybe that's gross to some but I think it's good for the bones and cartilage), chop up the meat then add the peas (about 3 cups or so) and some thickly chopped carrots and cook for another couple of hours. Then I put it in the cold garage or fridge. The next day I heat it up again and eat it. It's better the second day.
My Dad makes a great pea soup vegetarian style and his is great but the pork in this melted in my mouth and I love big chunky soups. I gave her a kale pesto recipe a nurse shared with me while in hospital so will try that next. Just like regular pesto with no cheese. We have a ton of kale I thought was eaten by bugs or frost bitten, but it's growing strong again.
Douglas and I worked together a bit on The Freakin Universe. Not quite ready yet but we will send an invitation to the online venture he has been working on for over ten years. It is amazing how geeky he has become. I remember showing how to email back in 1997. Funny. Now he has all the gadgets and programs for his work. Funny guy.
A local store wants him to make some artwork for their store. Holidays are coming and leaves are falling. Lots of leaves !!!!! Such a feast for the eyes is fall. This year seems so much brighter than last.
My body is healing nicely. I finally got the long lasting pain med Saturday eve which has been a huge help. The shorter lasting really is just for breakthrough pain. I have many bruises popping up in strange places but I remember that from before. The swelling moves around too which is fun to watch. Like a roving goiter.
I taped up and took a shower with Doug's assistance. My hair was a little greasy but now I feel fresh and waiting for the nurse to call with her schedule. Would like to know sooner than later so we can plan around it. Urggggg. My friend Renee is bringing her massage table over and leaving it so I can get body work. We trade for food from garden. It has worked out nice for me and I feel she loved the fresh food.
Last night was a rough night. Doug has a sinus thingy again and his back has been acting up after three days in hospital chairs and sitting at computer. He was tossing, I was cramping in legs-feet, could not get comfy and had the strangest ongoing dreams.It really does make a huge difference to us as humans when we get a good nights sleep. If we can get our mind to shut down usually the body follows but these days it's hard to shut down. I keep a pad of paper and pen by bedside. When I wake up in am I decipher the notes written that night.Those who know my handwriting, well lets just say, my Dr. complained about it and my pharmacist said it is worse than a Dr.'s. I can use the excuse I have arthritis or a shoulder replacement. It's been bad my whole life.Oh well I have other talents and gifts.......
Let me know how you all are doing. I had three friends who had surgical procedures last week and everyone has something going on in their lives which is challenging or exciting. I am here if you want to chat or brag. If I do not answer I am napping, on the pot, with a nurse or a visitor. Leave a message with time of call and I will get back to you soon.
Love
A
I cooked 3 - 4 cloves of whole garlic, 2 or 3 small onions, a bunch (maybe 6) carrot tops, fresh pork bone (the left over from a pork shoulder that I had cut the chops off of), 2 smoked shanks, and 2 bay leaves (fresh off the plant). I probably cooked this for 3 - 4 hours (in about 3 or 4 gallons of water?) after that, I strain all through colander, retain all the broth and bay leaves, and scavenge as much meat as possible. I eat the grizzle (maybe that's gross to some but I think it's good for the bones and cartilage), chop up the meat then add the peas (about 3 cups or so) and some thickly chopped carrots and cook for another couple of hours. Then I put it in the cold garage or fridge. The next day I heat it up again and eat it. It's better the second day.
My Dad makes a great pea soup vegetarian style and his is great but the pork in this melted in my mouth and I love big chunky soups. I gave her a kale pesto recipe a nurse shared with me while in hospital so will try that next. Just like regular pesto with no cheese. We have a ton of kale I thought was eaten by bugs or frost bitten, but it's growing strong again.
Douglas and I worked together a bit on The Freakin Universe. Not quite ready yet but we will send an invitation to the online venture he has been working on for over ten years. It is amazing how geeky he has become. I remember showing how to email back in 1997. Funny. Now he has all the gadgets and programs for his work. Funny guy.
A local store wants him to make some artwork for their store. Holidays are coming and leaves are falling. Lots of leaves !!!!! Such a feast for the eyes is fall. This year seems so much brighter than last.
My body is healing nicely. I finally got the long lasting pain med Saturday eve which has been a huge help. The shorter lasting really is just for breakthrough pain. I have many bruises popping up in strange places but I remember that from before. The swelling moves around too which is fun to watch. Like a roving goiter.
I taped up and took a shower with Doug's assistance. My hair was a little greasy but now I feel fresh and waiting for the nurse to call with her schedule. Would like to know sooner than later so we can plan around it. Urggggg. My friend Renee is bringing her massage table over and leaving it so I can get body work. We trade for food from garden. It has worked out nice for me and I feel she loved the fresh food.
Last night was a rough night. Doug has a sinus thingy again and his back has been acting up after three days in hospital chairs and sitting at computer. He was tossing, I was cramping in legs-feet, could not get comfy and had the strangest ongoing dreams.It really does make a huge difference to us as humans when we get a good nights sleep. If we can get our mind to shut down usually the body follows but these days it's hard to shut down. I keep a pad of paper and pen by bedside. When I wake up in am I decipher the notes written that night.Those who know my handwriting, well lets just say, my Dr. complained about it and my pharmacist said it is worse than a Dr.'s. I can use the excuse I have arthritis or a shoulder replacement. It's been bad my whole life.Oh well I have other talents and gifts.......
Let me know how you all are doing. I had three friends who had surgical procedures last week and everyone has something going on in their lives which is challenging or exciting. I am here if you want to chat or brag. If I do not answer I am napping, on the pot, with a nurse or a visitor. Leave a message with time of call and I will get back to you soon.
Love
A
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Short and sweet
I am sorry for the short blog reports last few days. Hard to sit and type for too long. Douglas is back at work on the computer and in office and lots to do around casa and taking care of me. I am low maintenance............right? Right!?
It is Sunday afternoon and yesterday was a little busy here.Great to see loved ones and an old nurse I have not seen in a while. I am so grateful for those who cooked for me last few days !!! OMG the food has been fabulous and nurturing and your efforts do not go unnoticed. I will be there for you when you need it in return. Douglas cranked out a gourmet brunch today; Salmon with eggs and potatoes with Zingerman's 8 grain bread and chopped liver. Have to get my iron back up there. So I ate way too much. The leaves continue to stun me and I feel entranced in the beauty.
I see the surgeon wed. I am hoping to be able to start PT away from home in a week !!! It might be too adventurous. I am OK with being indoors and lounging at this point. Pain is under control and lots to read and watch the food channel lessons and movies. I am reading a book called "The Brief Wondrous Life if Oscar Wao" Constance sent it to me. Very interesting novel about an American Dominican immigrant. Rough language and reality but an intriguing read with real history added in here and there. The author, Junot Diaz" won a Pulitzer Prize. I will have to finish Chesapeake later. I tend to fall asleep after a few pages.
For those of you who have been confused as to what they actually did in surgery I will attempt to go back in time and bring you up to snuff: Back in 1990 when I first learned the steroids had caused osteo necrosis, also known as avascular necrosis or AVN(death of bone),the surgeon in NC where I lived at the time decided to do a left femur core decompression which was a pencil size drill into the center-anterior femur about mid thigh. The idea is that bone would grow back due to blood flowing to that area. It was unsuccessful due to the amount of loss and blood vessels-arteries were clogged or too swollen from steroids to reach the femur(thigh bone) femoral head and acetabulum (ball and socket)of hip joint. The femur is the longest bone in the body and it takes strong-healthy femoral arty-vein to get blood to the tip of it. Any swelling or calcification will impede blood flow thus causing death(necrosis). That summer I came back to Ann Arbor and had the left hip totally replaced by a sports orthopedic surgeon.I was not impressed by his work(not at UM). I later returned to Asheville where six months later I had my right hip replaced by a fabulous surgeon who no longer practices. I had no insurance and he paid for it himself. I am forever in Dr. Smith's debt. This was a total success.I have since had the left one revised two more times. This last one was a right revision but only the plastic lining at socket needed to be replaced due to a large crack allowing synovial-joint fluid and debris to collect in the posterior region behind the metal ball and plastic sicket where bone should have been. No wonder they could not find synovial fluid when they did a biopsy a few months back. This is what we fixed with a filling compound made of two types of calcium to stimulate growth. It will take while to know if it is working and really we may never know. If it hurts down the road we will know it needs further repair-revision. I could keep it for life? So that is the scoop. It was my 6th joint replacement to date. There are necrotic areas in other parts of my body, knees being the worst. We will try the drilling in the right knee later next year. I have about one year of healing-rehab to get both hips up to snuff. For the next 8 weeks I wear a very uncomfortable brace. If you see me on a cane, walker or in a wheelchair just know I am taking care of myself. Lupus is doing great shhhhhh.................Hopeful !!!!I hope none of you Lupies ever have to experience this.
As many of you know I am writing a book of sorts and this blog is a journal from which I will extract much of the personal information. Sometimes I write exactly what I am feeling or doing. It is my way of sharing with my loved ones, and eventually the world, what it is like to thrive with lupus. If you know someone who has lupus I encourage you to get them a journal or blog and inspire them to write. It really is a great tool for many reasons.
Make it a great day for you and all around you !!! Love and blessings.......Angela
It is Sunday afternoon and yesterday was a little busy here.Great to see loved ones and an old nurse I have not seen in a while. I am so grateful for those who cooked for me last few days !!! OMG the food has been fabulous and nurturing and your efforts do not go unnoticed. I will be there for you when you need it in return. Douglas cranked out a gourmet brunch today; Salmon with eggs and potatoes with Zingerman's 8 grain bread and chopped liver. Have to get my iron back up there. So I ate way too much. The leaves continue to stun me and I feel entranced in the beauty.
I see the surgeon wed. I am hoping to be able to start PT away from home in a week !!! It might be too adventurous. I am OK with being indoors and lounging at this point. Pain is under control and lots to read and watch the food channel lessons and movies. I am reading a book called "The Brief Wondrous Life if Oscar Wao" Constance sent it to me. Very interesting novel about an American Dominican immigrant. Rough language and reality but an intriguing read with real history added in here and there. The author, Junot Diaz" won a Pulitzer Prize. I will have to finish Chesapeake later. I tend to fall asleep after a few pages.
For those of you who have been confused as to what they actually did in surgery I will attempt to go back in time and bring you up to snuff: Back in 1990 when I first learned the steroids had caused osteo necrosis, also known as avascular necrosis or AVN(death of bone),the surgeon in NC where I lived at the time decided to do a left femur core decompression which was a pencil size drill into the center-anterior femur about mid thigh. The idea is that bone would grow back due to blood flowing to that area. It was unsuccessful due to the amount of loss and blood vessels-arteries were clogged or too swollen from steroids to reach the femur(thigh bone) femoral head and acetabulum (ball and socket)of hip joint. The femur is the longest bone in the body and it takes strong-healthy femoral arty-vein to get blood to the tip of it. Any swelling or calcification will impede blood flow thus causing death(necrosis). That summer I came back to Ann Arbor and had the left hip totally replaced by a sports orthopedic surgeon.I was not impressed by his work(not at UM). I later returned to Asheville where six months later I had my right hip replaced by a fabulous surgeon who no longer practices. I had no insurance and he paid for it himself. I am forever in Dr. Smith's debt. This was a total success.I have since had the left one revised two more times. This last one was a right revision but only the plastic lining at socket needed to be replaced due to a large crack allowing synovial-joint fluid and debris to collect in the posterior region behind the metal ball and plastic sicket where bone should have been. No wonder they could not find synovial fluid when they did a biopsy a few months back. This is what we fixed with a filling compound made of two types of calcium to stimulate growth. It will take while to know if it is working and really we may never know. If it hurts down the road we will know it needs further repair-revision. I could keep it for life? So that is the scoop. It was my 6th joint replacement to date. There are necrotic areas in other parts of my body, knees being the worst. We will try the drilling in the right knee later next year. I have about one year of healing-rehab to get both hips up to snuff. For the next 8 weeks I wear a very uncomfortable brace. If you see me on a cane, walker or in a wheelchair just know I am taking care of myself. Lupus is doing great shhhhhh.................Hopeful !!!!I hope none of you Lupies ever have to experience this.
As many of you know I am writing a book of sorts and this blog is a journal from which I will extract much of the personal information. Sometimes I write exactly what I am feeling or doing. It is my way of sharing with my loved ones, and eventually the world, what it is like to thrive with lupus. If you know someone who has lupus I encourage you to get them a journal or blog and inspire them to write. It really is a great tool for many reasons.
Make it a great day for you and all around you !!! Love and blessings.......Angela
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Saturday October 24
Rainy fall day but so beautiful with all the colors of fall's glory. It will be a very busy day. We have Ling Ling, Nina's Shitzu, for the day and she loves to snuggle with me(I love to snuggle with her). She fits in my hand or pocket. The nurse will be here between 2-4 pm and Douglas will use that time to run errands. Then my neighbor friend Jennifer made soup and maybe kale and will enjoy that for dinner ! Douglas will be happy to have prepared food with out me trying to direct him. Mary Mandeville will come by too with soup so that is fabulous ! Thank you so much everyone !!!!
I am still slow and sore. My home PT Sally Richardson and I decided that with all my experience and restrictions I can do on my own and save time and money. Then next Wed. I see the surgeon and tell me when I can go to land PT, move about and maybe drive. I have to wear the brace for 8 weeks. Hard to move about with this on. I know I will have itchy feet to get out and about. Good thing I have an electric chair and dad bought me a ramp for the van and it works.
Tell me how you are doing. Love to everyone !!!!! Angela
I am still slow and sore. My home PT Sally Richardson and I decided that with all my experience and restrictions I can do on my own and save time and money. Then next Wed. I see the surgeon and tell me when I can go to land PT, move about and maybe drive. I have to wear the brace for 8 weeks. Hard to move about with this on. I know I will have itchy feet to get out and about. Good thing I have an electric chair and dad bought me a ramp for the van and it works.
Tell me how you are doing. Love to everyone !!!!! Angela
Friday, October 23, 2009
Still in a Daze..............
Hi !
I am home and trying to catch up on sleep and rest.The leaves have started turning all spectrum of fall leafage color from vibrant green to yellow to orange to purple and then brown. It is lovely !
I will write more tomorrow. resting.........Love and Blessings to all. Angela
I am home and trying to catch up on sleep and rest.The leaves have started turning all spectrum of fall leafage color from vibrant green to yellow to orange to purple and then brown. It is lovely !
I will write more tomorrow. resting.........Love and Blessings to all. Angela
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Partial moon rising
Oh boy.........trying to be fitted for a leg brace is quite interesting in a hospital gown with no panties. I was mooning everyone. Now that the catheter is out I actually can wear real people clothes !!!!! Whoo Whoo !! The brace has been fixed and fitted so I did PT a few times today walking about with the walker. It is the small steps that feel so good. I am feeling ready to go home. I get out of the brink tomorrow !!!! My bed is waiting.
Doogie is staying with me tonight in the room. A very sweet nurse assistant found a recliner for him. I have to have his assistance to get to the bathroom and other stuff. We are both looking forward to getting back home and yet feel blessed this stay has been really good and I had a private room with really good nurses and all is good except what they call food? Really?
Thank you for all the emails. Love to all. One of us will update tomorrow. Hugs !!!! Angela-Robo Babe.
Doogie is staying with me tonight in the room. A very sweet nurse assistant found a recliner for him. I have to have his assistance to get to the bathroom and other stuff. We are both looking forward to getting back home and yet feel blessed this stay has been really good and I had a private room with really good nurses and all is good except what they call food? Really?
Thank you for all the emails. Love to all. One of us will update tomorrow. Hugs !!!! Angela-Robo Babe.
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