On Faith............Beyond Hope..........

First let me get through the health update. I am still not 100%, but feel ten times better than I did the past week. I actually did not realize how bad I felt until I was able to finally collapse Thursday eve to present. I purged last night and it felt great. Whatever was in my system seems to be gone for the most part. Low grade fever still persists but I feel human. I even made dinner last night, baked bread and cooked breakfast this morning, which is usually Douglas' Sunday morning thing. I did not eat all my food but it is staying in. I know I did not have the flu but it seemed I had something inside me that my body wanted to Flush OUT...literally. My Dr. and I agree it could have been leftover from Hospital stay during surgery. Half lives of medications mixed with the pain , new parts and chemicals placed into body and constipation will do weird things to a fragile body.

So "On Faith".......Douglas and I had a great conversation this morning that really hit home for us both. Not going into all the details but we realized that faith is beyond hope. Faith is belief under all circumstances, knowing, total trust, complete confidence that all is as it should be and all is OK. Financial burdens or health issues always seem to work out one way or anther and I "Know" this to be true. We are always taken care of. Douglas needed to hear this from me.I needed to speak it.We had spent so many years building a business in Asheville(struggling)while dealing with health challenges and set backs,then moved back to Michigan with no debt, money in the bank and a "hope" that he would build his business here and thrive........"Not" ! The economy tanked, he continued commuting to Asheville for work, all our savings went into house equity (which we have lost much of) and my health took a major shift for the worse only months after we moved into our home.We have questioned our faith and decision to move or at least to move here to Michigan during such challenging times, yet I had no choice medically and now I know we made the right decision based on faith. UM hospital and my Dr. could offer me the best care during a rough 4 years. Had I been in Asheville I doubt I would be writing these words.It would be a different story. I have a team of medical professionals that is the best for my condition. I have family-friends in Michigan who have known me from birth, who are close by and are old pros at helping out and caring for us during long flares and hospital stays.I have to add; our friends in Asheville and family in the south was-is still amazing and supportive beyond belief!!! They just don't live right down the road like they do here, but I wish they were! I fear that after 18 years in Asheville I may have burned out a few caregivers, especially my closest-dearest friends. Even I know when it is time to ask others to step up while weary friends can get a break, whether they think that or not, I felt it.

The point is that Doug and I have been challenged and had to overcome many obstacles in order to survive.We could not have done it with out our faith,friends and family. They always show up! We are grateful and blessed. We talked about hope and prayer. Now we see that "faith" is "beyond hope" and we have moved into total faith and intention. Our intention to live a joy-filled life together with gratitude has always been our plan, yet to speak the words and feel their power is amazing. I saw in my meditation Jesus in a white light protecting us and telling me all is well. "Now that is faith based on intention": To make a decision to truly trust and believe,then put into action our faith. So it is.The rest is just our story unfolding daily. Glad you are here for the ride. Be well.