To fear or not to fear ????

Fear was a topic of conversation for Douglas and I yesterday. I watched an Oprah show (don't laugh) and she had four women "step out of their box" and comfort zone which meant facing their fears. They jumped out of an air plane, skinny dipped in the ocean in public-on camera(nudity shots not shown on TV) and they learned how to roller blade for a day and played a professional roller derby game. After-wards they discussed fear and how it holds us back from the incredibly strong women we know ourselves to be deep down in the depths of our soul. Why do we then stop ourselves cold in our tracks when we are faced with those things we fear? It is something I have thought a lot about in the past.

Fear is a good thing when it protects us from real danger. It is intuition and physiology working hand in hand to wake us up to an impending danger. When we are truly in tune with our inner voice we can use this as a tool to keep ourselves safe and sound. When we allow our inner voice to be quieted or we numb ourselves and this voice does not come through. Anxiety takes it's place. Then anxiety turns into a neurotic tendency we fill ourselves with because we lost touch with our intuition. At this point fear takes over in ways that are unreasonable.

This unreasonable fear is of what I speak. This stops us form living life to it's fullest. I asked myself what my greatest fear is. The only thing I could come up with is fear of something happening to Douglas or someone I love. I have faced my fears up to this point. I naturally feel fear when I am getting ready to step on a copper head, find myself lost in downtown Detroit in an area I should not be or I am swimming in the ocean and a shark appears. But the fear of heights, flying, swimming in dark lakes, sleeping in the jungle, the dark, going alone for a moonlight walk or kayak ride, hand gliding,traveling alone, getting sick, surgery, riding fast motorcycles, skinny dipping or any fear one may have has been pretty much erased. Now I do get fearful in the car if I am not driving and there seems to be an crazy driver or the road conditions are bad...........so I guess I do have a fear of car accidents, but it is all I can think of at the moment. Maybe all I have gone through with lupus and as a kid with a sick mom and spending so much time alone I have learned to be a warrior. Always a Tom Boy and daredevil. Risk taking comes naturally yet now I am more cautious and smarter about the kinds of risks I am willing to take. I have seen too many people get hurt and too many lives ruined by one stupid risk. Especially as I grow older and realize there are others who suffer when one get's hurt while taking a risk. Responsibility is my mantra.

The type of fear which grips people in a deadlock and will not let go is something I encourage everyone to face head on. If it is heights you should get on top of the safest highest point near you and get over it or jump from a plane. If yo afraid of someone seeing your body...go running naked down a beach and laugh the entire time for the nut case you appear to be. Let yourself jump outside your box. Dance the polka, play an accordion on main street, dive into the lake in early fall, sing karaoke in front of strangers, take a small risk................get your freak on and let it shine!!! Then you can have a good belly laugh and know life is supposed to be fun and risks are meant to happen in order for us to grow. Think of Amelia flying her plane across the Atlantic and what a rush that must have been. The first time I went hand gliding I was like a kid riding a bike for the first time. No jitter bugs at all just pure joy and laughter. I had to know I could do it. It was the best gift I ever gave myself. Share with me how you stepped out of your fear zone and what gifts came from the experience.

Oh Renee came over Tuesday and gave me an incredible massage and energy work. I feel so much better. I laid on my stomach for the first time and this sore back side was at ease. She rocks !!! I also sleep now with out the large foam triangle pillow and am sleeping with two pillows strategically placed to support and protect my hip-legs. I can also sleep on side with the pillows between my legs. So flippin fabulous. The simple things make a huge difference.